Can't I See You One Last Time?

Chapter 45: No, He Can't

That story. His story. The story of a man who couldn't remember his own name. The story of a man who had nothing left but the urge to look for his lost lover. It's funny really. The man, the fallen god, couldn't even remember what his lover even looked like. What was the point in retelling that story?

"Do you understand? Your lover can't feel romantic love, or remember you."

Oh, was that the point? To tell him that everything he was doing was completely useless? To tell him that there's a chance he's already with his lover? To tell him there's a chance that he torturing himself? Was he—that small part of his soul—already enjoying life next of that kind soul? His small and timid soul. That kind and sweet soul.

Oh...He understood. He finally understood. The reason for telling that story. The reason he was supposed to hear it again. He finally understood the meaning. Finally...

"You...You were chosen, right? To be a servant?" The fallen good asked. Why was such a question being asked right now? Did this fallen already know? That was the whole reason why he was being chained down. Still, through this confusion, Tanjiro was still a bad liar, "Yes."
The fallen god laughed, bitterly. Again, he thought, a—fucking—gain.

The fallen god really hated the way gods worked. He really hated the system. He really hated this whole situation. He didn't understand why, after so many years, they were determined to do this. After so many years of the initial crime, they were still stuck on trying to keep them apart. Sure, the other wouldn't be able to remember anything, nor feel the love they once shared, but that didn't matter. As long as the two souls were able to live in the same space. That's always been the only thing he wanted after finding out the whole punishment. Of course, he wanted his feelings to be returned, but that was impossible now.

Maybe, if he allowed the soul to continue being a human, none of this would've happened. His past self was far too greedy for his own good. He was the origin of this mess, but he didn't want it to end. Not for that small part of his soul roaming around with the humans.

The fallen god's laughter subsided. There was no point in trying to resist. There was no reason in trying to fight back now. He barely had enough power left to keep the current cycle going. Soon, he felt it, everything was going to collapse and fall back into its natural order. For now, he at least wanted to give that little piece of him enough time to savor everything he had. If it was only for a second more, he wanted to maintain the happiness that his little soul had.

Tanjiro was in utter confusion. He didn't know what he was supposed to do in a situation where a fallen god was laughing like a crazy man. Like a man who has given up. He didn't know what he should do, but it was safe to say that Tanjiro was starting to sympathize with the sad, miserable god standing in front of him. If Tanjiro was in his situation–No, if he was even involved in the story, he would be miserable as well. Not being able to be with the person he cared for or not being able to experience what romantic love is, he would be miserable. He was sure that he would be miserable. Even if he was in the position of the human soul that didn't remember anything, he was sure that a part of him–somewhere deep inside his soul–would be miserable.

Stuck in his own mind, Tanjiro was pulled out when a cool hand cupped his cheek. He looked up to make eye contact with the eyes of a god who was dyed in black from corruption. Tanjiro didn't understand what the fallen god was trying to accomplish. He wasn't sure if he was going to be harmed or if the god simply wanted to feel the warmth of another soul, but Tanjiro didn't move. He didn't squirm or show a look of disgust. He was trapped staring into those dark eyes that were sad, miserable, and lonely.

Through the dark features, Tanjiro could see a faint smile. A small and faint smile. One barely visible through the dark over dark features.
"Tanjiro," the fallen god whispered in a sad and dejected voice.

For a moment–it was only a split second–Tanjiro could see it. The grace of the past water god. The beauty and mannerisms of the mighty water god. He was the respectable figure of a true water god. Those features. The ones making up the past god...They reminded him of someone. Someone that he admired and respected. Though it was only for a second, he was sure of the features, only because the two of them were so similar.

The water god removed his hand from Tanjiro's cheek. He returned to his usual cold attitude. "Kamado Tanjiro," he started with, "You've always wondered why Giyuu went thought such lengths for you."
Tanjiro nodded signifying that it was true. Tanjiro never really understood why he started everything in the first place. He didn't understand why the thought of being with him was what drives Giyuu in any turn. It was confusing. It was something out of few things he didn't understand. The reason was always going to be confusing to him.
"I'll tell you why," the darkened figure said.

Knowing that he could find the reason, peeked Tanjiro's interest. Truthfully, Tanjiro always wanted to know more about the hashira. He always felt drawn to him. He always wanted to understand him more then he did. There was going to be no knowledge he would turn down when it came to understand Tomioka Giyuu more. If it was fake, Tanjiro would judge that for himself.

"He loves you."
"..."

Tanjiro...He didn't understand. He didn't get it. Was it the love for a younger sibling? Parental love? What kind of love was it? It had to be love related to family. Tanjiro wouldn't understand if it wasn't. He would only feel miserable if it wasn't.

"Tomioka Giyuu loves you, Kamado Tanjiro. In any shape and form, he loves you. Romantically."

It couldn't be...