They call me a criminal

Chapter 12

I looked up, and all three of them began questioning my last statement. "I just need to clear my head."

I found myself walking around the halls, thinking about potions, all the points Snape took away from me, and then that boggart played over and over in my mind. I was so focussed on that I could barely hear the whispers. 

But when a group of three students walked by one looked my directly in the eye. "YOU TRYING TO KILL US ALL? WORKING WITH SIRIUS BLACK ARE YOU? YOU BELONG IN AZKABAN." I turned around to stare at the boy who just screamed at me. I walked sideways trying to figure out who it was, and understand what he said. My mind was a whirlpool of everything right now.

I barely noticed I walked directly into Professor Lupin, "nice kid." He said staring at the student himself. "Come in."

I walked into his office not looking up, "take a seat I'll bring you some tea." I did as he said resting my head in my hands, before I could stop myself I let out a few tears, and then they couldn't stop.

I was being completely honest when I said I didn't want to be here anymore. No professors trusted me, all the students hated me, and I couldn't even tell if my friends wanted me around.

When I saw Lupin walk back out, I pushed my head down not wanting him to see me cry. When he sat down I heard him place a cup on the desk beside me. "It's alright, you can't pay attention to all of them." This made me cry harder, "I can't ignore all the whispers, or the professors thinking I'm working with Sirius, that boggart, Azkaban, my own mother's death replays in my head on repeat? How can I ignore all that?" He sighed, "I truly don't know."

I kept trying to wipe my eyes but they were replaced with new tears. He sat with me for a while not saying anything. "The idea that I have no parents, no home is following me around everywhere." He nodded, "friends can be family." I shrugged, "they don't even trust me." Lupin gave me a small smile, "they do Clara."

"I don't want to be here anymore, how do I leave Hogwarts?" He just sighed, "that's not a good idea, you have to give things time." I shook my head, "it's really hard, everything is."

He nodded, "I was friends with Sirius." This made me look up. "Really?" He sat back, "I wouldn't lie, not to you." I gave him a small smile, "were you guys good friends?" He nodded again, "we were." I wiped my face off. "Everything is going to work out dear." I shook my head, "I don't see that happening right now." He smiled, "I wouldn't expect you too."

I put my head back in my hands, "I just want it all over." He nodded, "I know." I looked up at him, "I wouldn't let Sirius into the castle. Never." He stood up, "I believe you." I finally felt brave enough to have a sip of my tea. "What should I do?" He grabbed some papers sitting back down, "just take a bit sit here calm down."

I curled my knee up to my chest watching him grade tests for close to an hour. "I should probably get ready for dinner." He nodded, "I'll see you down there. Keep your head up." I smiled, "thank you, sorry I'm sure your busy." He shook his head, "anytime you need, come on down."

When I got back to the common room I saw Fred sitting there without George, which wasn't entirely common. "Fred?" I got his attention. He nodded, "what's up?" I sat down, "no George?" Fred shook his head, "sleeping, pathetic right?" I smiled, "want to walk down to dinner with me?" He nodded, "Ron and them are down there already." I got back up and he winked, "ready." I laughed, "I think so."

"How have you been doing?" I shrugged, "could be better." He smiled, "you're pretty brave." I rolled my eyes, "is that so?" He nodded, "unless you're calling me a liar." I shrugged, "I don't think I'm that brave." Fred nudged me, "you're right, you're more then that. I don't know how you're doing it truly." I smiled, "I'm not doing it as well as you think." He stopped me, "what's that supposed to mean?" I looked up at him, "nothing." He pulled me back, "Clara, come on we've been friends for years now. You can trust me?" I sighed, "it's just hearing what everyone's saying, and knowing that they have literally no idea what I went through. They don't know the truth. It's exhausting. Everything is."

He nodded, "you don't have to go through it all alone. I'm here, George is. All of your friends are." I shook my head, "let's just eat Fred."