They call me a criminal

Chapter 52

On my way up the stairs I saw Fred sitting outside the hallway smiling as soon as he saw me. "How was the meeting?" I shrugged, "nothing exciting." He nodded, "want to lay down?" I followed him into their room climbing up on the bed immediately. "I'm tired Fred," I whispered. He placed my body softly against him and I listened to the intense sounds of his breaths. He trailed his fingers up and down my arm making my thoughts trail off until I had fallen asleep.

"It's dinner time." Fred whispered shaking me softly. I looked up at him, as he placed his hand on my back pulling me up. "How long did I sleep?" He smiled, "a good five hours." I shook my head amazed, "you stayed here the entire time?" He nodded, "of course I did." We stood up together and walked out into the hallway and down the stairs. I was about to open the door when I saw Harry standing in front of me. I stopped dead in my tracks causing Fred to slam into the back of me.

"Hi Clara." I stood shocked, I think it took me almost a minute before I could stumble out a "hey."
The awkward tension lingered between all of us, and it took Fred to bring us both back. "Dinner guys."

  I sat at the table with everyone for the very first time, my insides felt like they were being shaken apart. Every time I looked at Harry the memory of me on top of Cedric played through my mind, and the screams echoed in my ears. He watched me murder my father he watched Cedric die. Was I supposed to feel normal around him?

  "Clara." Fred nudged me. I shook my head bringing myself back to, "yes Fred." He raised his eyebrows, "can you pass the potatoes, I've asked three times." I saw Sirius giving me a concerned look, and quickly apologized to Fred handing him the bowl. As soon as we were finished eating I got up not wanting to stay for desert.

I sat down on my bed turning to face Remus as he came in. "You didn't want any desert?" I shook my head, "I'm not very hungry." He nodded, "how have you been sleeping?" I sighed, "alright." Remus gave me a small smile, "Harry being here isn't easy for you." I stared down at the ground, "none of it is his fault, or mine, but.." Remus squeezed my hand, "you can't stop thinking it is." I nodded, "they were going to kill us all, it isn't fair Harry and I were the only ones." Remus nodded, "I know for a fact, your mother, and Cedric wouldn't want you to blame yourself for any of this." I bit my lip, "how can I not?" We both looked up as we heard a knock on the door. Harry stood there, "Clara, I just wanted to talk to you."

I gave Remus a nod, and he left the room. "Let's go somewhere more private." Harry insisted. We walked up two flights of stairs to a little room that appeared to have boxes full of stuff, and a big bright window. I sat down next to the window staring out of it aggressively. "You aren't talking to me." Harry whispered. I met his eyes, "do you blame yourself everyday? I mean for your parents, and that night? You lived and they didn't. I lived and they didn't." He nodded, "of course I blame myself." I tipped my head back, "Harry I hate myself so much, every fucking time I close my eyes I see them."

He sat down next to me leaning his head on my shoulder, "We're going to be alright Clara." I shook my head, "I don't think that's true, how could I possibly be? You didn't kill anyone, you don't know Harry. I did it to save you, I killed my father. I deserve to die, Harry I want to die." He stared at me, "that's not true." This made me scoff, "I thought you'd of all people would understand. We were all supposed to die that night. Now voldemort hates not only you, but me more than ever. He's going to kill us." Harry put his head in his hands, "we can't blame ourselves, as much as I want to. Clara I couldn't live without you." I studied him, "either of us could live without the other Harry, we're used to losing people." He looked down, "Voldemort won't get us." I scoffed, "if you believe that you're an idiot." He nodded, "I've been expelled." I stared at him, "what do you mean?" Harry sighed, "two dementors attacked me. I used my patronous." I shook my head, "you're getting a trial right?" He nodded. "Then you have a chance."

I put my head against the window watching as Harry stood up. "Goodnight Clara." I gave him a small smile sighing as he left the room. I decided I should go downstairs, I wanted to go to my room but when I saw Fred's door I pushed it open. He was asleep snoring softly, same as George.

I gently slid into bed beside him pushing my face into his shoulder. It took only a moment for me to be pushed into my dreams.