They call me a criminal

Chapter 88

It was the middle of the night when I felt something hit my stomach. I sat up unsure of if I dreamed it or if it really did happen. Only a minute later did I feel another kick. The baby was moving.

I let out a small breath placing my hands on my stomach. "Hi sweetheart. I'm your mum." I laughed when I felt another small kick, "it's nice to finally meet you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry you have me for a mother, and a piece of shit father. You didn't deserve this. But I'm going to love you so so much. I promise."

I stayed up until the sun rose talking to the baby and laughing as it gently kicked.

"Clara." I froze at the sound of my name. I waited for it to be called again to take a deep breath. "Remus," I whispered smiling at the sight of him. "Hello sweetheart," he hugged me tightly. When  I finally let go he sat down beside me on the bed. "How are you doing?" He asked. I shook my head, "not well, obviously. But I felt the baby move last night." He smiled, "that's amazing." I bit my lip, "how long can you stay?" He met my eyes, "not long dear, it's not safe."

I gave him a small smile, "does everyone hate me?" Remus sighed, "hate is a very strong word. They are all confused. As am I, so I'm going to ask it. Why did you kill Dumbledore?" I bit my lip, "simple answer is he asked me too. Long answer is he knew he was going to die that night, whether it be me, Snape or Draco who killed him. The only problem was if none of us did end up doing it, they would both die. He wanted the elder wand to belong to me, which is why he asked me to do it, and that is funny because I have no fucking clue where that thing is." Remus squeezed my hand, "I had figured something like that was going to happen. The good thing is everyone besides the order thinks Snape did it. Harry told us the truth." I slowly nodded, "I guess Dumbledore has a plan. I'm supposed to be looking for horcruxes, but I don't even know where to start."

Remus sighed, "oh sweetheart. Right now the only plan that you are going to follow is rest." I sighed, "I feel so useless." He smiled, "if only you could see how wrong you are." I bit my lip, "I love you." He nodded, "I love you too dear. I'm sorry I can't help you more. There's chocolate downstairs. I should get going soon." I leaned forward wrapping my arms around him again, "I didn't mean to cause so much trouble, just know that. You are the most important person in my life and I'll never be able to make up for everything you've done for me. Thank you, thank you, never forget how much I love you. And if anything happens to me please tell them all the truth, tell them I love them too, and that I'm sorry."

He held on tightly, "you mean everything to me as well dear. You're smart and you're strong. I know you'll be alright. I will find you again, and I will bring you back home. I promise."

"Goodbye," I softly whispered letting go. "I'll see you soon sweetheart."

As soon as he'd left I forced myself to go downstairs. The kitchen wasn't very nice but I decided to start here.

Day by day I went through every room in the house cleaning it up, and making it a home. A place where I would want my child to grow up. This did involve me going to muggle shops, picking out baby things, which was embarrassing given I did not understand their money. I had to lie and say I was from a different country just so they wouldn't look at me strange. I had even bought a camera, everyday I stood in front of the mirror in my bedroom and took a side picture to track this babies growth. It was cute, in the nursery I hung every picture up side by side along a wall, something to keep me occupied, to make me look forward to the next day.