Scarlet Rogue (Book One)

Chapter Thirty-Four: The Victims

Kaelynn

"You look terrible! One night without sleep and you're a walking disaster," Avery states, moving a small, vanity mirror towards me.

My lids feel heavy as though a tonne of bricks are weighing them down but Avery's words are often exaggerations. I pull the mirror closer to me, eyes widening at the sight. Avery wasn't wrong, I'm a wreck. The red veins prominent in my eyes, the burning sensations not helping either.

"Are you sure you haven't been crying?" Avery asks once again.

"Of course not!"

She's not one to push on sensitive topics but then I'm not one to lie to her, but this time it's warranted. Her pitying glances, her consoling, it would all be too much for me right now.

Six years ago, that was the last time I allowed myself to cry. A year into killing Father, that's when the decision was made; to bury my feelings and live my life in a way that only benefits others. Up until a few months ago, I believed it. Believed that I was saving people, doing good out in the world but in reality, what little I did, was overshadowed by everything happening in the kingdom. Everything I was responsible for, that I could have put an end to. Thousands of lives that I destroyed.

The worst of it all, Mother surely knowing what's happening under her own land and that was the final straw that had me bawling my eyes out all night. At the end of it, only one thing is certain that this can't go on.

"Five more boxes and we'll be done!" I say, knowing she will be well and truly distracted from my emotions at any change of topic.

"You mean five more crates, look at the size of these?!"

"They are a little big."

"Are you kidding? We are sending enough supplies to feed and clothe the whole kingdom here."

She holds up the jelly babies and bags of marshmallows to make her point before throwing them in with the woollen blankets. Through all her chattering, the crates are filled and boxed before long.

"Good, you are done," Hannah comes round the corner, Kurt by her side. "I was wondering what was taking so long," Hannah glares at Avery as she says the final sentence.

Hannah waits for a response but leaves when Avery stays silent for once.

Her grin widens when we are alone, "She's leaving today, thank god."

"Kurt is a little protective over her, isn't he?" I ask with yesterday's comment in mind.

"Of course, why wouldn't he be?"

I look to Avery shrugging, not quite sure what she means.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"He did rescue her from that terrible situation, it makes sense he'd want to continue protecting her."

"Kaelynn! Couldn't there be another reason?"

Avery talking in riddles isn't helping, what other reason could there be? I'm left hanging with my thoughts as Mark joins us straight after, abruptly ending our topic of conversation. As he carries the boxes outside, we make our way outside to say our goodbyes.

This is what I'd been avoiding since I got out of the hospital, facing them. The victims of my painful decisions, the innocent lives that are destroyed forever. How can I even face them? No words, no sorrow, no guilt, will make up for anything.

"Is something wrong?" Avery asks as we walk to the front door, unsure of how she sensed anything.

"No?"

"You are walking slower than a snail."

I sigh as she lets out a giggle, increasing my pace to appear normal. They'll never be a right time to face them but for once, facing up to my mistakes is the right thing to do.

Our strides down the corridor feel both like an eternity and a split second. My heart races as sweat dribbles down my back. Avery reaches for the door and with my vision now getting hazy, we exit the house. Through the blurs, I make out swarms of people stuck in their spaces, or is it boxes? Not being sure what I'm looking at, I follow Avery a few steps forward where she stops.

Shouts start from the crows in what sounds like 'long live Queen Kaelynn.'. The panic of the situation has got me hearing all sorts, but when the words echo around for moments longer, along with the cheers of people, I look to Avery for her wisdom.

"What can I say? The people love you."

My vision begins to stabilise and I am able to see Avery's words for myself, not understanding their misplaced emotions. Perhaps they are so desperate to get rid of the woman who allowed torture chambers that they would settle for someone who murdered her Father. Their sentiments only echo that instead of correcting my mistake, I created hundreds more.

We walk around the fields greeting victims, I shouldn't keep saying victims, should I? Survivors, yes that's more fitting. These strong-willed people of the kingdom have too much faith in me. From the survivors thanking me to offering their lives to help me get back the throne, I am left speechless. In a good way or a bad way? I'm not sure.

As cars start loading passenger and boxes, Avery drags me away from the crowds. Holding on to my hand, she leads me towards the back of the house and I blindly follow. We are met with an excitable Mavis playing with Kiara, Kurt and Hannah whispering away a few meters behind.

"Kae Kae! We are going on holiday," Mavis says, eyes glistening, jumping around the place.

"You're going to have so much fun that you'll forget about me."

"Never ever!"

In that moment, her words hold all the sincerity she can muster and she truly believes it, I can tell, but the truth is she will forget.

"Kurt!" Avery screeches, "Maybe you could let us say goodbye to Hannah for a few minutes."

A blush appears on his cheeks as Hannah runs towards us. I stare at Kurt for longer than usual, not having seen him embarrassed before.

"I'm going to miss you so much," she says as she pulls me in for a hug. "Kurt said we'll be back soon. We will, won't we?" Her wide eyes look at me in hope, hope I wish I could give her.

When she finally let's go, she wraps her arms around Avery sniffling away lightly, "I'll miss winning all our arguments and I'll miss being right all the time."

Avery taps her shoulder in defiance but she too, can't hold the tears back as they roll down her face. My eyes tearing up at the sight.

"It's the baby, getting emotional over such a small thing."

She tries to play it off on her hormones as usual but the streams of tears say the opposite of anything she says.

Kurt leads the two of them into the jeep, a replacement, just like the one we used to escape to the Queen's land.

"Please take care of each other," I say as the girls climb into the car, huddled together.

Kiara's soft hands slide into mine as we watch the jeep drive off beyond our vision, far out of our reach to a safe place. A place they'll be protected, yet our hearts fill with the emptiness as though we've lost a part of our family. A bittersweet moment.