Flying on Faith ✰ Jeong Yunho

Chapter 29

Jinkyung

Since Yunho and the rest of the filming crew was still in Jeju, I had another two days off. Technically, I have three days off including today since I don't have to be on set. Mr. Lee wanted me on set for the final day of recording since he plans of giving a long speech on how proud he is of us and other stuff he wants to say. I could've came to set today but there was no point since I'd just waste my time. So, I took the free time I had today to shoot commercials, do interviews, model for brands and companies, and all of that stuff. Ever since the premiere of the drama, there have been many companies that haven't worked with me before finally reaching out to me. Not to mention that a lot of directors have been reaching out to me as well for upcoming dramas with actors and many idols. I don't think I want to work with idols again so I'll just think about the actors.

The only reason why I don't want to work with idols again isn't because I didn't enjoy working with Yunho or Eunwoo, but it's because I want to get to know more actors just in case we're in another drama together in the future. Both Yunho and Eunwoo were amazing and I hope I can work with the both of them again one day, but there are many actors in the industry that I want to get to know too. Hopefully I get as good as a cast and crew as this drama because out of all of the dramas I've filmed, the cast and crew were the most kind, funny, caring, and compassionate people I've met. Especially Yunho.

It was 9am and here I was, at a magazine company, filming my interview. It was honestly very relaxing being away from filming for a while. I was on set for so long almost everyday which I love, but once in a while I do enjoy being away from acting and stuff. That's why I like interviews so much. I can express my personal opinion and be myself but still be on camera. The interview ended in about an hour and a half and the interviewer was very nice and respectful. She made sure I was comfortable with answering questions regarding the drama and Yunho and she even let me skip some questions from fans if necessary. I didn't have to skip any questions from the fans because they were all nice and respectful as well.

My next schedule was a photoshoot for a new and popular clothing brand. I have another photoshoot later for a makeup brand. I've had these offers since the first episode premiered, but I couldn't do them since I was on set everyday. For this photoshoot, the clothing brand is more sophisticated clothing so I was dressed in very well-made clothes that I could just tell were expensive. I didn't want to mess up any of the clothes even though they were super tight and I almost ran out of breath a couple of times. Either way, I sucked it up and posed for the camera like I always do. I did this for another hour with many different outfits and looks and they let me keep all of the clothes I tried on. Once we were done, Sooyeon and I immediately went to my next schedule.

On the way to my next photoshoot, all I could think about was Yunho. San still hasn't talked to me since we got back from Jeju and I'm getting kind of scared. I was wondering if I did something wrong to push the both of them away. In our more than 10 years of friendship, San and I have never fought and if we did, we would forgive and forget in a span of a couple of seconds. I have no idea what to do about this. I know that I can't talk to Yunho, but I can definitely talk to San. Hopefully when I get home from all of my schedules, I'll be able to talk to San.

I finished my final interview at around 8pm and Sooyeon treated me to dinner at Korean barbecue. I wanted to drink to forget all about my worries. Both San and Yunho being upset with me, people not liking the drama when it comes out, and mostly, my feelings for Yunho. I didn't want to get completely wasted, but honestly I couldn't help it. Sooyeon even told me not to drink too much so I don't wake up at two in the morning and throw up everywhere. I just drank whenever she wasn't looking and lied by saying that I wasn't drunk at all. In reality, I was wasted. My eyes were getting heavy and I felt like my whole world was crashing down. I still had the urge to drink more and more so I did and Sooyeon tried to stop me but I kept telling her I was fine.

But I wasn't fine. Nothing is fine right now. I was hoping that throughout the drama, Yunho and I would be able to build a nice and friendly relationship. But I didn't expect to fall in love with him. He can't even love me back and I feel so stupid for falling for him that fast. What was I even thinking? How am I supposed to get him to like me back when he's still not over Semmi? Sure, she's a complete psycho and she was too controlling and possessive and annoying, but maybe in the beginning of their relationship, she was a good girlfriend, which is why Yunho kept keeping her around. She also kept tearing Yunho and I apart. I could've known so much more about him than I already do if it wasn't for her. I have to choose my career over love any day and any time, so I guess it was my fault. But at the same time, I really should've talked to him. I pushed him away and made it seem like he did something wrong. Is that what he felt like? If this is what he felt like, then I should feel like this for the rest of my life because of how much I regret hurting him.

I want to give Yunho everything in the world. Semmi has hurt him so badly and I want to be the person he depends on and heals his scars. I fell in love with Yunho unexpectedly, it was almost at first sight. Yet I love him more than Semmi ever did. I don't know how long they've known each other but if she ended up like this in the end, I bet she never loved him in the first place. The only thing I want for Yunho right now is happiness. He deserves to be happy especially after Semmi hurt him that bad. Seeing him heartbroken and having to deal with her was absolutely terrible and I wanted to be there for him every time I saw him down. I want to give him my heart, I want to stay by his side. Even if I was offered everything in the world, I wouldn't exchange it even for a single day with Yunho. I want to talk to him again, I want to hug him again before it's too late. Hopefully I'll talk to him one last time tomorrow.

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another suggested song would be "fine" by taeyeon!

- j