His Rose. // Blaise Zabini

do you know what it's like?

*TRIGGER WARNING - MENTION OF RAPE*

Rose Malfoy

"Well shit." Pansy breathed. Everyone looked up at her. 

"What?" Scarlett and Draco said at the same time, watching her hand me the Daily Prophet. 

I took the paper from her and looked at what was on the front. Blaise was sitting next to me so he leaned over and read what I was reading. 

***

STUDENT SENT TO AZKABAN AFTER ANOTHER ASSAULT

A very sensitive topic today folks. Theodore Nott, a student who was expelled from Hogwarts and transferred to the Wizarding World of Australia, has been sent to Azkaban. 

When he attended Hogwarts, he had tried to sexually assault a student. He was expelled and was put on a type of probation and therapy for his acts. When the professionals thought that he was better, he was sent to the Australian Wizarding school to hopefully graduate. That obviously did not happen. 

This time he had gotten away with it and went all the way with the girl who wishes to stay confidential. 

Nott was sent to a trial for his actions and they proved him guilty. 

"He was not well and never will be. No person should be left on the street with a mind like his. It's sickening." Said a witness of the trial. 

Nott shall face five years and then be trialed again. Until then, he is locked up and won't be free. 

If you are a victim and need help, please seek someone. They can help. 

***

My heart started to race as that day swam back into view. I hadn't thought of that day in weeks. The dreams had gone away, the feelings of his hands on me were just lost memories. Now, it felt like they were there again. 

This was good news, he was gone. He couldn't hurt anyone else. 

That poor girl. She had gone through the same thing that I had, but much worse. I wanted to know who she was. I wanted to become friends with her and be there for her. It would be hard to find out who though. 

My hands traced the spots he had touched as I felt pressure on my neck, hip, stomach; everywhere. 

I couldn't do it. 

I set the paper down and I stood up, running out of the great hall.

All I could feel were his hands. Was this normal?

My dorm seemed to be so far away from where I was now. It felt like it was taking an eternity to get there. I wanted to be alone. Again. 

I opened my door and shut it, running to my bed and laying down, trying to think of something else to get the thought of his hands off of me. I felt disgusting all over again. 

I curled up and into a ball, cinching my eyes shut and thinking of anything other than his hands. 

My mother throwing me into the pool. Summers with Blaise and Draco. Scarlett and Pansy at my house for sleepovers. Blaise cuddling me. Blaise teaching me Italian in the library. Anything and everything. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder and flinched, opening my eyes and standing up quickly. 

Blaise was sat on my bed, a worried expression on his face he looked at mine that was covered in tears. My body was shaking and I was a complete mess. 

"I need to be alone," I said shakily, bringing my arms across my chest. 

"You want to be alone, but you need to be with someone" He stood up, trying to come closer but I backed away, knowing he was disgusted with me. 

Who would want someone when they were easy? That's what I was. Easy. 

"Please, love. Let me be there for you" He begged, coming closer still. 

"No. You cant" I looked away, walking around him to the other side of my room. 

"You can't be alone in times like this. Trust me-" 

"And what do you know!?" I yelled, turning and looking at him "Do you know what it's like to feel his hands constantly on me? Even on the places he didn't touch? Do you know what it's like to feel easy? You don't! It hurts to know that you're standing there and probably thinking that I'm disgusting and that I'm just another girl that guys fuck. Well, news fucking flash... I didn't ask for any of this!" Tears streamed down my face as I collapsed down on the edge of my bed and cried into my hands. 

I looked back up at Blasie as I heard a sound escape his throat but he covered it up and wiped his cheeks... tears? He looked at me and didn't say anything until he did. 

"I know you're broken, but you are non-" 

"I don't care. Leave. Please." I turned my head away and waited to hear him leave. 

He let out a sigh and I heard him turn, his shoes clicking against the wood as he opened the door and shut it. 

I cried and sobbed as soon as I heard the click of the handle. I laid down and curled into another ball, wondering what I had just done. 

I didn't want him to go away. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to hug me and hold me again, tell me that I'm beautiful even with the feel of someone's hands on me at all times. I wanted him to tell me that he was here and that he wasn't leaving. 

And he did. He tried so hard to. But I wouldn't let him. I pushed him away, including my own feelings. 

I wanted him to stay but didn't listen to myself, focused on being alone.