His Rose. // Blaise Zabini

i do know what it's like.

*TRIGGER WARNING - MENTION OF RAPE AND SELF HARM*

***

Blaise Zabini

I tried my hardest not to cry as I made my way up to the front door. I didn't have anywhere else to go and I knew that I'd be welcomed here.

My chest was rising and falling, fast. Anger had overtaken me and I was okay with letting it all out and onto David. As I started to process it all, I probably scared the fuck out of my mother. But she knew where to find me and so if she wanted to talk, then she knew to come here.

It was dark now so everyone was probably in their rooms. Astoria was here and so, Draco and her would be somewhere together. Rose was most likely doing something in the library.

I brought my blooded first up to the door, knocking loudly and hoping that someone would open it and not ask questions.

It took a few minutes but the doorknob turned and the door opened. Rose stood there, a hand running through her hair as she registered it was me standing there.

"Blaise?" She asked confused, looking me up and down and her eyes landing on my fist. She took in a breath "Shit. Head to my room."

I walked in, sighing and hoping that I wouldn't cry in front of her. I was strong, in some way, and I didn't want her to see my weak side. No matter how much I loved and trusted her, I didn't know how she'd react.

We walked up the stairs quietly, the floorboards creaking slightly.

"You go wait in there while I tell Mum that you're here." She opened the door and went to walk away but I grabbed her wrist and looked her in the eyes.

My voice broke as I spoke and now I didn't care if I showed that I was weak or not. "Please don't leave. I need you now."

Rose didn't hesitate to bring her hands up to my face and wipe the tears that had fallen. Her forehead rested on mine as I cried. She kissed my lips and then pulled away, pushing me further into the room and then shutting the door.

I set my trunk down as I followed her into the bathroom and watched her wet a rag. I walked back into her room and sat on the bed as she sat next to me, taking my hand in hers and wiping the blood. The blood was mixed with David's and my own.

I winced as she hit a cut that had formed from the force of the punches.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, dabbing the cuts lighter "If you don't mind me asking, how'd this happen?"

"David and my mum are together again" I answered. It was all I could say. I didn't know how to tell her that I understood what she went through; understood the way that she traces her neck because she can still feel Theo's hands on her. I could still feel David's.

"Ah, I guess you really don't-" She glanced at my left forearm, seeing the scared lines on my skin. "Blaise..." She dropped my right hand and picked up my left, examining the scars that I had made. "Wha- When did you do this?"

"Since I was twelve." I sighed, knowing that I had to tell her. She needed to know everything.

"Blaise-"

"It helped take away the pain. The pain of my memories." her hand traced them as I spoke, feeling the light bumps that they created "I understand what it's like, Rose. To feel hands on you all the time. To never be able to feel okay."

She looked up, her eyes wide as she realized what I was saying. She looked back at my arm and brought it to her lips, kissing the scars and I couldn't help but smile as tears kept falling. 

She looked at me again. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for what I said. I'm so sorry that this all happened to you. I'm-" 

I stopped her, bringing my hand to her cheek and wiping the tear that had fallen. I shook my head "You didn't know." I smiled lightly as she rested into my touch "David got what he deserved tonight." 

She shook her head and stood up "No. We're calling the Ministry right now."

I followed her as she went to her closet for a jacket. "Rose, no. Not tonight. Just hold me. That's all I need from you right now. Please." 

She turned and looked at me, a look in her eyes as she debated letting me win or not. "Since you held me, I guess I can hold you too." She wrapped her arms around my neck as mine did the same to her waist. "But first thing tomorrow morning. We tell them and send the dick to Azkaban." 

"Okay." I brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her nose. 

Everybody deals with things differently. I remember when I first told Draco, I just started to handle everything myself. All of the ghosted touches. The nightmares that came along after I fell asleep. The fear that if I closed my eyes, he'd be standing there above me, ready to pounce. But I've been dealing with this for years so I knew that I need to just breathe and know that I'm safe; safe in Rose's arms. 

We walked over to her bed and laid down, me resting my head on her chest and listening to her soothing heartbeat. It always brought me peace; being with her and hearing her heartbeat.

"How do you handle it? If you don't mind me asking." She said in a low voice as she kissed my forehead. 

"I just pushed it aside and found friends who showed me that I was better than my thoughts." I looked at her. "I knew that I was better than letting it take over me, but everyone is different. I still struggle with it still, but I'm okay." 

She nodded and rubbed her thumb on my cheekbone. "I love you and I'm always here." 

"I know. E Ti Amo." I leaned up and kissed her lips. When I pulled away I saw the slight confusion on her face. "It means, and I love you." 

Rose nodded again and I laid back down, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her closer to me. 

It was over. In the morning, it'll be over for good. I knew that my mother would be broken, but I've been broken for years and just let it build up. Not anymore. 

***

If you are or know anyone that needs help because you are a victim of Sexual Assault, please call : 

1-800-656-4673

You are loved and it is not your fault whatsoever. 

I love you and you are beautiful!