The Group Chat (Marauders AU)

65

lion bitch🦁❤️

what did the sorting hat say to you the day we got sorted?

huh?
bam bam
it's two am
wtf
why aren't you sleeping?

why aren't you?

i was watching a movie with pads
he fell asleep not too long ago
and i was about to follow his footsteps until you decided to text me🤡
and you're down the hall yk
you could've just walked in

i thought you two were doing the nasty
i am soooo not interrupting that 🤢

who tf says that anymore?
it's sex, james
it's called sex
and no
we weren't doing that💀

good
i don't wanna kill my best friend rn
now answer the question

ughhhh
you're really going to make me remember that?
i don't remember half of the shit from first year

neither do i
that's why i'm asking

ughh
let's see if i remember properly
ummm
okay okay i think i remember

and that is?👀

exceedingly brilliant, loyal, courageous and ambitious
according to him, i had the traits from all four houses
he listed them one by one until he got to the slytherin and gryffindor traits
"very brave but also very cunning. but where to place you? you are a potter after all"

and that's when he sorted you into slytherin?

no
don't you remember?
he took a long-ass time with me
he was debating whether i was truly a gryffindor
i asked the hat to place me in gryffindor so i could be close to you
the asshat said no
"it's time someone broke the mold, don't you think?"
so he discarded gryffindor and debated whether i would be a ravenclaw or a slytherin
but in the end
my cunning and ambitious traits won
and i was sorted into the snake pit

wow-
i just thought he was stalling🤡

dude
i'm a hatstall
he took like six minutes with me🤡
i'm surprised the hat didn't have an existential crisis with me

ik
but it's weird don't you think?

how so?

idk
i was sorted in like 2 seconds
the hat barely touched me
and yet you took six minutes to be sorted

so?
james
you're sleep deprived
get some sleep please

i'm not tired
but i still find it odd yk?
also
are you feeling okay?

wdym?

aunt celeste was here today, didi
she hates your ass

i didn't even pay attention to her today tbh
i was too tired from dealing with your bullshit

first of all, RUDE
second of all, you really didn't hear what she told you?

let me guess
compared me to you again?

yep

i'm not even surprised at this point
bam bam
idc anymore
there's a reason i don't talk to them anymore
after almost seven years, you learn to tune them out
it's better this way tbh
let them say what they want
since when has our family been a sane one?
we're not that different than the blacks or malfoys yk?
and she hates sirius too so there's that too🤷🏻‍♀️

yeah ik
i heard all that
"really fleamont? you're letting your daughter date a black? and the son of walburga black no less."
and then she proceeded to call you the usual

a disgrace and evil?

you know it
i know what you're thinking rn
and no
you're not evil didi

ik that
it took me seven years to understand that
but sometimes it still stings yk?

ik
i remember the tears didi

yeah...
why do you think i have such a hard exterior, bam?
it sucks yk?
i get shunned because of my cunning ways and you get praises for being a dumbass🤡

HEY!

it's the truth!

nobody needs to know that

we're not in the gc dum dum

oh yeah
i forgot🤡
anyways-
just forget about what aunt celeste says didi
don't take it to heart

it's not just her bam bam
it's the entire family🤡
i kinda understand sunny and snuffles in that aspect

?

dude think about it
the only snake in a family of lions
they're the only lions in a family full of snakes
literal snakes
except andy
she's an angel
and cissy

she was your prefect right?

who?
cissy or andy?

narcissa, vix
andromeda already graduated remember?🤡

ik that dumbass
and yes
her and lucius malfoy were my prefects
i called him barbie once when he was head boy...
that's probably the main reason i can't try out for quidditch

why barbie?

it was either barbie or legolas
barbie was a better fit
and the malfoys kinda piss me off

i mean same but still
lucius barbie malfoy
i love it
if i ever see him again i'm gonna call him that

yessssss
and i'll conjure up a bow and arrow and call him legolas

and reg and pads will call him elsa

LeT iT gO-
let it go lucius
the cold has never bothered you

i'm-
dude
i can't laugh
i'm gonna wake up dad and he's gonna be pissed

speak for yourself
i almost woke up the puppy
we should really get some sleep yk?

nahhhhh
wanna ride our brooms for a while?

done
extra points if mum and dad never find out

and padfoot?

let him sleep
he needs it

HELL YES
didi and bam bam bonding time

meet me at our old hideout with the brooms in ten minutes
i'm gonna try and move without waking snuffles

climbing out the window now
i missed this yk?

same here