The Group Chat (Marauders AU)

67

playboy🐍🙄

ZABINI
ZABINI
ZABINI
ZABINI
AZRIEL
ZABINIIIIIIIIIII
SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAYYYYYYYYY
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
YOURE JOB'S A BORE
YOURE BROKE
YOURE LOVE LIVES DOAAAAAAAAA

potter-
it's three am
IM SLEEPING

what's that?

that would explain why you're always sleeping in charms🙄

the fact that you didn't continue the lyrics tells me the kind of person you are
you wound me

ughh
ITS LIKE YOURE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEARRRRRR
WHEN IT HASNT BEEN YOUR WEEK
YOUR MONTH
OR EVEN YOUR YEAAAAAARRRRRRR

ILL BE THERE FOR YOU

WHEN THE RAIN STARTS TO POUR

ILL BE THERE FOR YOU

LIKE IVE BEEN THERE BEFORE

ILL BE THERE FOR YOU

CAUSE YOUR THERE FOR ME TOOOOOO

TOOOOOOOOOO

okay
now what do you want?

i'm getting ideas

that's never good
and aren't you supposed to be with your bf?

he's sleeping

and i'm the booty call?
wow
i'm wounded

more like one night stand
and i'm a faithful girlfriend
unlike parkinson
be careful not to get an std my dude

ouch
and i wouldn't call it a one night
and i broke up with her
she's dating some lowlife
her desperate need to be a socialite turned me off and not in the good way

fine
three nights

six

was it really six times?🤡

technically it was five
but i'm counting the first night

we don't count the first night, azriel

fine
five times

that's better

now
you're idea?

no no
we're talking about parkinson first
what turn off is the good kind?🤡

if you had sex with her
you'd know
it was one night
and little zabini said bye bye

"little zabini"
that bad?

is there such a thing as fourth base?

i don't think so🤡

i'm inventing it

wait no
i just looked it up
it exists
it's the home run
it's where you seal the deal

so when i slytherin?

yep
unless she closes her gryffindoor

so this is what we've turned into?
all that's left is for me to ask you about sirius 💀

way better than you
✨in every way✨

and i just got clowned
thanks for that

look
if you two didn't hate each other
you would've been good friends believe it or not

seriously doubt it

think about it, azriel
you two are playboys
everyone kisses the very ground you walk on

and we both slept with you

i'm-
you say shit like that and i sound like a slut🤡

true
sorry
it wasn't supposed to sound like that

you're lucky we're civil towards each other

some would say that we're even friends

don't flatter yourself

i tried
anyways
what's on that devilish mind of yours rn?

right right
sorry
it's our last year right?

right

and we have the triwizard at school right?

that would be correct

wanna party😌

exactly how many are we talking about?

there's three schools
i'm giving you a chance to bed some french and bulgarian ladies

good
because these italians are kicking my ass

of course they are🙄
anyways
i'm talking about many parties
once a month sounds good?

merlin's ballsack jade
where are we going to get everything we need every month?

that's where i come in
i'm a potter, azriel
i have connections

okay
say we have a party every month
or every two months
how are we going to keep everything under control?

fifth year up?
that way we're able to get away with even more stuff than last year and the one before

i'm listening

reading but k then

and what about the other schools?

16 and up
no exceptions

sounds like a plan
so about the stuff?

you get your guys
and i'll get mine
deal?

deal
i feel like i signed my soul to the devil rn
but then again
you're satan
makes sense
now can i go back to sleep?

yep
sorry for waking you🤷🏻‍♀️

i was having a nightmare so thanks
you should get some sleep, potter
it's almost four am

no promises zabini
i run on adrenaline

we know
'night potter

'night zabini