Different Sides of the Sea - Levi Ackerman x Reader

chapter 11

(a/n) tysm for the reads, i hope you're enjoying the story!! <3333

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It's been two weeks since the breakup.

My days have slowly been getting easier. I've been working with the warriors in training and I have also been assigned to assist the Commander in some of his duties.

I' ve grown really close with one of the kids.

They tell me everyday that they want to be just like me when they grow up.

I just smile at them.

I don't admire myself or find anything that I do to be considered a "role model" position.

Children should not have to live like this. I shouldn't have to live like this.

When the kid tells me this, I just think of all the sleepless nights. The ones that are occupied by sad thoughts and tears.

The nights that I can't recognize who I am. My purpose in life is slipping away from me. I don't want to lose who I am.

I haven't seen Porco much either. We did run into each other at a tea shop we used to go together, but we kept quiet and moved on.

I heard that he had received the Jaw Titan. I couldn't imagine the pain that poor woman went through.

Today, the Commander has requested a meeting with Zeke, Pieck, and I. He didn't say much about what we were going to discuss.

I got into the quiet meeting room and took my seat next to Pieck's couch. She was always laying down on her side since she had a hard time adjusting to her legs.

Zeke didn't even look up from the table when I walked in. He was just writing something on a piece of paper and he was very focused on it.

The Commander and the General walked in and we all stood up to salute, except for Pieck.

Once they sat down, we followed.

"I called this meeting to discuss the next part of the operation to recover the Founding Titan. Zeke, may I see the list you've written?"

Zeke handed him the paper that he was writing on when I walked in.

"This is great." The Commander and the General both looked over the paper for a while before proceeding.

"This list contains all of the names who are closest to the person who holds the power of the Founding, correct?"

Zeke nodded. "These are the names I was given by Braun and Hoover. They are all part of the 'Scout Regiment' on the island."

"On this list there are two marks next to their names. Can you explain this?"

Zeke stood up from his seat.

"According to Braun and Hoover, these two possess great fighting skill that could be described as beyond normal human ability."

He cleared his throat and continued.

"Levi and Mikasa Ackerman are two who have shown this kind of strength. Judging by this information we can only assume they both have unbelievable skill. We must proceed with caution when we come in contact with these two."

"Very well. On to the next matter of discussion. (Y/n), to my understanding you went undercover to obtain information about Paradis' military and government, correct?" The general asked me.

"Correct." I gulped.

"What kind of information did you learn?"

I explained thoroughly what was on the island inside Wall Rose in the Stohess district. I told them about the files I had seen and where they were placed. I gave them names that I remembered, including Erwin Smith.

I also had told them about my contact with Levi. If I didn't, they wouldn't trust Pieck since she knew about it as well. I couldn't put her in that position.

After I explained everything I knew, the Commander came to a conclusion.

"(Y/n), we're sending you back to the island. Alone. We need for you to gather more information since you seem to have gotten the closest to their military personnel. Grow close relationships if you need to. I need you to bring back to us how much those people actually know about the Titans. Is this understood?"

"Yes." I said this almost robotically. I have accepted that I am only a tool in their toolbox.

"Great. You leave tomorrow. We decided to send you back as quickly as possible because we can't waste anymore time. The longer that kid on Paradis has the Founding, the more that he will learn to control it."

Everyone stood up from the table and I reached out to help Pieck and handed her a crutch.

We saluted as they exited the room, leaving Pieck, Zeke and I last to leave. There were still guards in the room since Eldians are not allowed to be alone.

It was quiet for awhile. I was lost in thought.

I was going back to the island. I was going to see Levi.

"(Y/n), a word." Zeke called me.

I walked over to him, "Yes?"

"I want you to find out more about Eren Jaeger while you're on the island."

"Can I ask why?"

"I think he might be part of the family my father started on the island. My half brother. Find out a little about his home life, that's all."

His eyes grew a little glossy and he turned his head in embarrassment.

Zeke's parents were similar to mine. They met in secret to defy Marley. Except, he had to make a hard decision in turning his parents in. He did it for his own safety and the safety of his grandparents.

I didn't know too much about him, just that his childhood wasn't easy. I knew how he felt. I didn't have my parents either.

I grabbed his shoulder and assured him that I'd do it.

"I'm sure they cared about you, Zeke. I'd like to think my parents cared about me too."

He sniffled and exited the room.

I went back to my housing unit and started packing. I'm not sure how long I was going to be there, but I packed as much as I could fit.

I also packed my diary that had the letters to Levi.

I wonder if I should give them to him or not.

As I placed the diary inside my bag, I zipped it tightly shut.

I sat on my bed to rest for a little, but my mind wandered to helpless thoughts.

I was thinking about the warrior I had grown close to. I thought about the way that I felt when they told me that they admired me.

How could anyone admire someone like me? I feel like lately my days have been passing by with no meaning. I lost the only person who had some faith in me. I lost the little hope I had for a nice future.

As I sat on my bed and caved into my miserable thoughts, I came to a conclusion.

I was going to find my purpose on the island.

I want to know what it's like to be free from this place.

Of course, I'll be doing my job, but if I could come to love myself somewhere else, so be it. I won't restrain myself anymore.

I want to be able to genuinely smile when someone tells me that they look up to me.

I'll make myself proud, for myself.

A small knock came from my door.

I open the door to find a tall blonde man standing above me.

"Reiner?"

He pushed me back a little and invited himself in.

We sat down at my small table and I gave him a curious look.

"I heard you're going back. I'll be going back soon too."

He sighed, then continued.

"Before you leave, I wanted to tell you about your brother."

I widened my eyes in shock.