I quickly got lost in the crowd, shoving people to the side so that I could easily slip through. I didn't turn around because...
...if I saw Levi...
...and his sweet steel eyes...
... I wouldn't be able to leave this place.
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:...
This was an AOT one shot that I've had in my drafts for a while.
*THIS IS NOT PLOT RELATED AND CAN BE SKIPPED*
♫ please listen to the song below while reading♫
ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı
↳ currently playing ;;
[i'll never smile again] - [frank sinatra & tommy dorsey orchestra]
0:01 ——•———————— 3:10
↺ << ll >> ⋮≡
ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ: ————•
I remember that day, like it was only just a few seconds ago.
There was a small whoosh sound in the sky. A small feather landed in my lap.
A bird had flown over our house, circled back around, and sat on our windowsill for a while.
It watched me as I hung the laundry on the clothesline outside to dry as I always did. It was a windy day, a little warm, but the sun felt nice and comforting.
Everytime I would hang a sheet over the line, I had to check to make sure you weren't hiding behind it, getting ready to jump out and scare me.
Just a few days before, you were playing with Armin and Mikasa around the town.
I had neighbors come and tell me that you were starting fights with the kids in the market. I don't even remember how many times I apologized to them.
Mikasa would always come home and tell me, "He wasn't so bad today," and that was enough for me to not worry.
Eren, I want you to know that I never once thought you were a bad person regardless of your decisions, both past and present.
You started fights, but you stood your ground for your friends. You have a big mouth, but an even bigger heart. You lost battles, but you had people to lean on.
You care a little too much for your own good.
The day you put on the Scouts uniform, I shed a tear from heaven, knowing what would await you.
I've watched over you every single day.
Armin slowly learned how to stand up for himself. He no longer allows people to step all over him. Armin, your parents and I applaud you from up here.
Mikasa - I have no words to describe the perfection rooted from her. She has made my worries settle. She has done the things that I wish I could have done for you.
Eren, I saw you walking around Marley that day. Your eyes wandered around the area, gazing upon the people around who were just going about their normal day.
You looked at them with both sadness and curiosity.
I bet you asked yourself, "How did they grow up differently from me? How were they able to live their lives in such ways that I couldn't? Why did my bloodline have to be cursed with this evil power?"
I'm sorry my sweet child. That I could not give you the life you truly deserved and desired. I could not create a world for you that you were happy living in.
I wish I could have done more for you. I wish I could have cherished those small, intimate moments a little longer.
I would have held you in my arms for a second longer, combed your hair an extra time, kissed both cheeks on your soft face, tied your shoes a little tighter.
As your mother, I wish I could have prepared you better for the ugly in the world that I knew little about. I wish that I wasn't so blind to the cruelness of the world.
When you, Mikasa, and Hannes left me that day, I didn't want you to leave me behind. I faintly sobbed, "please don't go," but that would have been too selfish of me to ask of you.
Eren
I know that you sent her to me.
I know that you sent her to kill me.
I know that now.
I wish you were never in that position to make a choice like that in the first place.
I forgive you.
With all my heart, I forgive you.
Back to that day on Marley, you asked yourself another question, "What would mom think?"
I think you did what you had to do to protect your friends and family. It wasn't easy, but you made it work.
As I have waited light years away in heaven for you, it is your time to leave your home.
Don't be afraid of the bright light, it is a comforting feeling I have felt before.
Eren, I can hear your words now.
"I hope you can forgive me. Mother - I've killed so many people. I can't go to the same place as you, can I?"
You're going to be somewhere far away from me, but I will always be with you.
Rest now, my love.
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