Timeless (An Outsiders Fanfiction)**UNDER MAJOR EDITING**

Fearless: Chapter 20 {Ending}

The sun shone down in illuminating beams. The only thing protecting me from the light was the tree that hung over top of me.

My cigarette hung loosely in between my teeth, smoke rising from the end of it. My fingers threaded through the soft, green grass.

My mind was lost in my thoughts. I stared blankly ahead just thinking. Thinking about him, my friends, my family.

I haven't seen any of them other than Two Bit, Dallas, and Austin since I blew up on him. I can't even say his name without getting this feeling.

This feeling of anger, sadness, confusion. A feeling that is inevitable when I think of him. When I say his name.

What is love? Love is a bitch that will make you feel your greatest and your worst in a split second.

Love is the thing that makes me want to stay as far away from him. Love is the thing that makes me miss him and want him.

Love is what made me come to him.

•••

"I'm sorry..." Aj explained. I dragged her to the Dingo where she would explain to me everything.

I hadn't said a word to her yet. But she knew what I wanted from her. "It's not what it seemed like. I promise." She started again.

"So when you were in jail, Dally had the idea of adopting you. Johnny and I weren't so keen on the idea of you guys living together. We became closer, we started hanging out, he started opening up to me." I looked away with hurt in my eyes. He wasn't spending time with me because he was too busy spending time with Aj.

"He told me about how he knows you two are drifting apart and that he didn't know how to fix it. He was depressed. I took him to a party to get things off his mind. He drank his feelings away. As did I. I knew Dally and I were drifting also. In the midst of the party, I lost Johnny. I decided to go upstairs and sleep." Oh my gosh, don't tell me they had it together. My mind was spinning. All these horrible outcomes swirled my imagination.

"I caught him cheating on you..." I snapped my head up from my fingers to Aj. I knew something was going on.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Elle. Once I saw him all the alcohol was drained out of me. I started cussing him out, I swear I woulda killed him for you. He begged me not to tell. Oh God, Elle he begged. I kept thinking that telling you right away will make you runaway or cut yourself again or something." Unstoppable tears flowed out of my eyes.

"I thought to myself 'what she doesn't know won't hurt her' but there was still that guilt. I've been mad at Johnny because he wouldn't let me do what was right. I've been mad at myself because I let him stop me. I know what I did was wrong and I don't know how to fix this."

I wiped my tears away and pulled my shit together. "It's okay." I said quietly while standing and I walked out of the diner.

•••

As I walked to the Curtis house I was very emotionally confused. I understood that Aj was having trouble choosing whether to tell me or not but she still should've done it. I'm relieved that she did.

Johnny shouldn't have avoided me like that. He should've told me also. That's why I was on my way to confront him.

I stepped up the porch steps. Taking a deep breath when I got to the door. Slowly opening it revealing myself to the gang for the first time in a couple days.

Everybody looked up at me and I looked around at the surprised faces of Darry, Ponyboy, Steve, and him. I cleared my throat and called, "Johnny," my voice quiet and easy, "will you come outside?"

He looked around and got up hesitantly. I started walking down the steps and to the park. I was soon accompanied with him.

I didn't speak until we got to the park and sat on our swings. I mean the swings. "Aj told me."

I looked at him and he quickly shot his head down. "I'm not upset at her. I'm upset at you." I took a deep breath, close to tears.

"You could've told me." I whimpered as the tears started rolling. My heart aching. Silence screamed throughout the air. Until Johnny blew up.

"No I couldn't have. I couldn't because I couldn't be able to stand your reaction. I couldn't stand you being mad at me. I couldn't stand to break your heart." He finally spoke up, tears in his eyes, too.

"Well, I would've been mad and heartbroken even if you didn't tell me. Which I was. I would've wanted you to be honest with me. That's what I liked about you. I thought you would always open up to me and tell me these things. But you didn't. You didn't." I sobbed.

"And if you feel that avoiding me wouldn't hurt, you were wrong. I just wish you were honest with me..." I continued and looked away.

"Fine, you want me to be honest with you?" He stood up. "I didn't want to lose you! Ever since I met you I was scared to lose you to Dal, or Soda, or Two Bit. And when you were going to live with Dallas I knew that I did lose you. So I needed a shoulder to cry on. I needed somebody else because I gave up. I admit it, I gave up on you. When I was with that other girl I felt like somebody wanted me. I was wanted for once. When you have Two Bit, Dally, and Austin you wouldn't want me. I'm nothing. No one would want me." He paced around with his fingers running through his hair.

I started walking away but turned around and yelled, "Johnny, you're all I ever wanted."

•••

"Mom?" Austin called out.

I walked over to him with a confused look on my face. "Were you calling me?"

"Um, can I call you that?" He asked scratching the back of his head nervously.

I smiled an ear to ear grin, "Of course." I said as I knelt down to give a kiss on his forehead before grasping him in a hug.

Dallas walked in slowly with an even more confused look. "Tell him what just happened." I said gesturing my head towards Dallas.

"Well, I'm starting to call her mom!" Austin grinned.

"Then what does that make me?" Dallas asked.

"Well I could call you dad but you guys aren't married or dating."

"I'm fine with it. If Two Bit and I don't have the same mother he can still be my brother and Dallas doesn't have to be dating me to be your dad." I explained.

"Well then I have two parents that aren't dating but are best friends?"

"Yeah. We could be like one awkward family." Dallas suggested.

"Yeah." Austin sighed dazedly.

•••

Things were starting to become normal again. Well not regular normal. Our normal which is crazy.

I started cooking with Darry again and watched sunsets with Ponyboy. I went back to work with Steve and Buck. Two Bit is always keeping the gang in high spirits with his contagious laughter.

Austin is Austin and Dallas is Dallas. Aj and I were up to the usual. Johnny's still quiet.

We decided on maintaining a friendship before a relationship which is all good. Maybe that's all we can handle for now.

I was sitting on the couch with Aj and Two Bit watching Mickey just like good old times. The episode was about Mickey getting separated from his friends and he was going through all this stuff to get back to them.

"I was afraid that our gang would get separated like that." Two Bit stated.

"Yeah, me too." Aj agreed.

I shook my head, "We shouldn't be afraid. The love in our gang is timeless," I looked over at Two Bit then looking over at Aj I said, "and a good friend once told me to always be fearless."

~THE END~