Mended Broken Souls (✔️)

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I grew up without the presence of love. My mother taught me not to have it because she never showered me with the myriad meanings of that word. I learned to cover myself with such coldness that every person who fixed their eyes on me would shiver.

It is because of her.

I gave up on finding the meaning of love because I got exhausted. I just live in a house that doesn't feel like home.

Since I was in the right age to think critically, that was the time when I deeply felt that my mother doesn't treat me as her own. She often treats me like I am not part of the family.My father's treatment to me is fine... but I am lack of a mother's love and care. Kulang ako sa pagmamahal at kalinga ng isang ina na siyang nagluwal sa 'kin sa mundong ito.

Perhaps when she gave birth to me, she quickly drove me away from her arms... even if I badly wanted to cry while being carried by her. Within my sixteen years of existence, I did not experience being taken care of by a mother unlike my other classmates. Palagi akong nakararamdam ng selos sa t'wing nakikita ang mga kaklase ko na sinusundo ng mga ina nila.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I'm currently combing my short hair while fixing my eyes on my lifeless eyes. Funny how my first name also means life, but the person who owns it feels like death.

Nag-aayos ako dahil mamayang alas dos, may magaganap na team building sa youth ministry. Since last year, I joined Youth Ministry because I want to build an unending rope of faith to God for the reason that I once blamed Him for giving me such an awful mother.

I was wearing a white t-shirt and a blue denim jeans. I tucked it into my jeans. Required mag-puti sa tuwing may ganitong activity sa Youth. Bukod sa mga youth dito sa Baranggay namin, may iba pang youth na dadalo o dadayo rito sa simbahan na taga ibang chapels.

"Ma, ubos na po 'yong ulam?" tanong ko kay Mama na nasa sala nang makababa ako.

Nakangiti nitong tinuturuan ang nakababatang kapatid ko na si Akisha na anim na taong gulang na. I looked away when jealousy crept within me. She never did that to me before. Mula nga nang ipanganak si Akisha eight years ago ay para lang akong hangin dito sa bahay dahil si Papa ay busy rin kaaalaga kay Akisha.

Kahit maayos naman ang trato sa akin ni Papa, I can't avoid to think that the happiness I saw on his eyes was different... It was like it wasn't the happiness that was plastered on his eyes when I was born.

"Pinakain ko na kay Akisha, Ashia! 'Wag ka nga'ng maingay riyan, tinuturuan ko rito ang kapatid mo!" sigaw niya sa akin.

May dumaang sakit na naman sa puso ko. Favoritism happened between my younger sister and I. And even if I already got used to it, it still hurts me to the core. It is still always the reason of my sorrowful sobs at night.

Sa ganoong bagay ay hindi ko pinapansin at itinuturing na kapatid ang kapatid ko dahil kahit bata pa man siya, tinuturing ko na siyang ka-kompetensiya. Kahit ano pa'ng pag-pigil ko lalo na't isa itong kasalanan, hindi ko mapipilit ang puso ko na huwag mag-selos.

"Mama! Wala na pong ulam si Ate Ashia! May tinago naman po kayo sa isang maliit na ref, ah, na hindi mo pinapakita kay Ate? Kawawa po siya..."

Pinanlakihan ni Mama ng mata si Akisha dahil sa ibinunyag nito.

My sister looked at me with her eyes that scream pity, but I was not even touched. She stole the attention of my parents since the day she was born, so even when she's not at fault, I silently burst my blame on her.

Simple lang ang bahay namin. Hindi kami mayaman, hindi rin mahirap. May dalawang palapag ang bahay. On the first floor, nandoon ang may kalakihang sala at may kalakihan ding kusina. Sa second floor ay may dalawang kwarto. Sa akin ang isa, samantalang ang isa ay kwarto nina Mama at Papa, doon din natutulog si Akisha. My mother is a teacher. Sabado ngayon kaya nandito lang siya. My father works in one of the companies here in Leyte.