Mended Broken Souls (✔️)

Chapter 56

Chapter 56

I felt how my heart swiftly found its way to skip myriad beats against my chest after hearing his questions that were seeking answers. 

He was still beaming, while me on the other hand, doesn't know how to react well.

Dalawang taon na kaming nagta-tratuhan nang may kahulugan simula nang fourth year college pa lang ako, pero ngayon niya lang tinanong sa 'kin 'to.

It was just abrupt. I didn't wait nor anticipate it... I thought we'll just stay in that way.

Naririnig pa rin dito ang mahihinang hampas ng alon habang nakatitig kami sa isa't-isa. The hues that the sunset owns reflected his entire feature. It feels nostalgic... I remembered our break up in the coffee shop as well, with the sunset and the waves as the witnesses of our tragic denouement at that time.

Kung noo'y ngiti na may halong pait ang iginawad sa isa't-isa, ngayon nama'y ngiting buo at totoo dahil sa saya ang inihandog sa isa't-isa.

It was because I was able to react already... I slowly curved my lips for a smile.

"Noong nalaman ko mula sa mga magulang ko na hindi ka tunay na anak nila tito Albert, honestly, I didn't feel the entire happiness. Wala sa isipan ko ang maging masayang buo dahil sa isiping pwede pala tayo, because the the thing that entirely filled my mind was the possible pain that would inflict upon you. Sa tatlong taong nawalay tayo sa isa't-isa dahil kailangan, dahil nga sa nalaman nating mag pinsan tayo, magsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong hindi ko minsang hiniling sa Panginoon na sana sa ating dalawa, may ampon para hindi na tayo masaktan pa, pero nang binigay ang hiniling ko, doon ko nasabi sa sariling mas mabuti palang hindi ko na lang hiniling 'yon..."

"Mas mabuting magkalayo na lang pala talaga tayo kaysa makita kang masaktan nang ganoon. That day when I saw you with an evident tears in your eyes, even if how much you tried to build up more your barrier, I still saw how shattered and feeble you were that time through seeing your swollen eyes. Nasabi kong sana hindi ko na lang hiniling na may ampon sana sa 'ting dalawa... dahil hindi man ako ang nasa sitwasyon mo, I felt the unbearable pain your heart carried..." His eyes welled up with tears now... His smile already faded.

He fixed his eyes outside on the setting sun, and shifted from it to me again. Ngumiti siya ulit.

"Sa totoo lang... sa tatlong taong hiwalay tayo, there were no days that I didn't think about you, kahit na mali dahil nga sa katotohanan noon na mag-pinsan tayo... Everytime I am stress, the vision of your face with a wide smile when you were with me vanishes my stress instantly. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit. Palagi kong sinasabi kay God na... Lord, ang hirap naman po ng pagsubok na binigay Niyo... Hindi ata ako makapag-aasawa nito dahil sa totoo lang, ikaw lang talaga ang nakikita kong maglalakad papunta sa 'kin sa altar..." He laughed nonchalantly, but I could feel the pain... as if remembering the past still pained him.

Hindi ako nagsalita't hinayaan lang siyang magpatuloy.

"I didn't know how to bear seeing you being filled with brimming pain so I chose to stay with you willingly. I chose to face my consequences from wishing that thing... kahit hindi ko kayang makita sa ganoong lagay, pinili kong tingnan at hintaying tumulo ang luha sa mga mata mo para ako ang pupunas dahil Julienne... mahal kita."

"Siguro nagtataka ka kung bakit sa loob ng dalawang taong pananatili ko sa tabi mo, hindi ko in-open up ang tungkol sa bagay na 'to. It is because I genuinely and wholeheartedly granted one of the wishes of your father to me on the letter he gave me."

"A-Anong hiling 'yon?" Tears begun to well up in my eyes now.

Ngumiti ulit siya at pinunasan ang luha sa mga mata.