Mended Broken Souls (✔️)

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

TW: Violence

"Lasing ka? Ganiyan ka nang babae ngayon?! Ang kapal naman ng mukha mong umuwi pa sa ganiyang kalagayan! Anong masasabi ng mga taong makakakita sa 'yo? Na naglalasing ka dahil hiwalay na kayo ng boyfriend mong pinsan mo?!"

One slap from my mother made my body weaken even more, the reason why I fell on the ground feebly. Napasandal ako sa dingding at itinuon ang tingin sa sahig. I'm too worn out for this shit again. Sana hindi na lang ako umuwi't hinayaang malunod na lang sa alak, o literal na malunod para maglaho na.

"Hindi ka sasagot?! Bingi-bingihan dahil totoo? Hah! Kailan ka ba babangon diyan sa kahibangan mo?!"

I didn't anticipate the next thing she did. She pulled my hair harshly for me to stand up and face her. Masakit ang pagkahawak niya rito na parang matatanggal na ang anit ko, pero hindi ko pinahalata sa kaniya na nasasaktan ako dahil mas lalo lang siyang matutuwa because of my submissiveness. Diniinan pa niya ito, dahilan para mapapikit ako sa sakit, but I didn't let pain draw curves on my face.

"I've already woken up from that, Ma'am. What I don't really understand is you still often push that as a reason of my distress. Ikaw yata ang 'di maka-move on." I chuckled. Oh, this feeling of being insane. Mas lalo pa akong tumawa kahit wala namang nakakatawa. Gusto ko lang makita ang paglala ng usok sa ilong niya.

Mas lalong naging malala ang galit na nakaguhit sa kaniyang mukha. Habang hawak niya sa kaliwang kamay ang buhok ko, sinampal niya ulit ako gamit ang kanang kamay, mas malala sa nauna. Tila wala naman akong naramdaman. I feel really numb.

"Bastos ka talaga!" She grabbed the flower vase on the table near us. I was menaced, but I laughed it off again. Kung babasagin niya ang ulo ko, mabuti nga para makalimutan ko na ang lahat, including the reality that I'm existing in this kind of family... that I was born to a mother like her.

Umamba siyang itatama sa akin ito, pero nagsalita ulit ako, "Go ahead, Ma'am. Grab the chance to entirely hurt me through any kind of pain. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. Sagarin mo na. Tutal, diyan ka naman magaling, 'di ba? Ang manakit. At siguro nga, kung magka-injury ako, you will just neglect me lying here because you're laughing for sure. Because your unwanted child already has a high risk of dying." Mas lalo akong natawa nang malakas.

"Lucie! Anong gagawin mo?!" Papa who was from upstairs immediately went near her. Kinuha niya mula rito ang vase at ibinalik sa table. 

"Ano bang pumasok sa isipan mo?!" Papa furiously shouted at her.

Hindi pa rin nagbabago ang ekspresiyon ni Mama sa akin. Habang si Papa naman ay hindi na maipinta ang mukha  sa galit. Papa worriedly looked at me, and was about to touch my arm, but I took a step backward. Their faces... Their existence... They are the living reminders of their betrayal.

"Don't touch me," malamig kong ani sa kaniya.

Napailing ako bago naglakad sa hagdan patungo sa kuwarto at iniwan sila roon. Agad na rumagasa ang sunod-sunod na luha mula sa mga mata ko. I was trying to hold them back because I was convincing myself that I already felt numbed... but they were too hardheaded, and my mind is too chaotic at this moment.

Umupo ako sa sahig na gilid ng kama ko. Sumandal ako at natulala sa labas ng bukas kong bintana. I took a glimpse at my clock and saw that it was already 12:51 AM. Binalik ko agad ang tingin sa labas ng bintana at natanaw roon ang saradong bintana sa k'warto ni Caleb.

Tears continued to cascade on my cheeks as I remember every fragment of our memory every night before we lay on our beds to sleep.

I miss him... so much.