Mended Broken Souls (✔️)

Chapter 50

Chapter 50

"One thing we can do starting today is to bury those bittersweet memories into their sole grave that were once authored by the both of us. And one thing we can do years or decade after that is to visit it everytime melancholy visits us, for us to remember that we once felt an overflowing euphoria in the company of our souls..." I mumbled slowly the last lines of the letter I made and gave to Caleb in our break up three years ago.

I have a writing account on facebook that was made when I was 14. I made literary pieces that just often abruptly came up in my mind back then, and posted it online. I didn't use my real name nor my real picture in that account.

My friends on this account were also had their real identity hidden. P-in-ost ko rin kasi ang letters na bigay ko kay Caleb noon dito sa account na 'to.

Celestine Nostalgia

Mostly the feeling that I poured in the pieces I had made was melancholic. Growing up with the mother who doesn't love me and who taught me to have an absence of love made me produce the pain into words.

Walang nakakaalam sa account ko na ito sa tunay na mundo. I'm not also well-known on this account, I just often got five to 10 reacts on my posts.

Tatlong taon ko na rin itong hindi nabuksan. My last piece here contained the last letter I gave to Caleb in our 'last meet' that time. I remember how devastated and melancholic I was when I wrote this. I felt the nostalgia.

The smell of the old vintage paper that I used to write with that letter is still familiar to my nostrils. It still pervades to my entire sense of smell.

Napangiti na lang ako habang nararamdaman ang marahang ihip ng hangin na nililipad ang buhok ko. Nandito ako sa duyan, kanina pa nag-s-scroll sa cellphone ko.

It's been a month since my real father died... Lunes ngayon at kagagaling ko lang pumunta sa sementeryo para dalawin ang puntod nito, at linisin din. 

However, his grave was already clean when I went there, and there was also a bunch of flowers, so I concluded that there was someone who visited his grave before me.

Kami sanang dalawa ni mama ang pupunta, pero nasa eskwelahan siya, nag-aasikaso sa enrollment papers ng mga estudyanteng nag-enroll na sa PNHS.

A long sigh escaped from my mouth. I'm still not enrolled in FEU. I didn't open it up yet to my Mom.

I'm getting better... at least. Pinapawi ang kalungkutan ko sa tuwing naaalala ang mga salita ng ama ko sa liham na bigay niya na tumatak sa aking isipan. I still have remorses, what ifs, and could have beens, pero hindi na iyon gaya ng dati na walang pumapalit na mga positibong isipin dahil puro negatibo lamang ang mga 'yon.

Everytime negative thoughts enter my head, I pray... Just like what my father's preach on the letter.

Gaya ng sinabi nila lolo at lola, halos araw-araw silang bumibisita rito. Isa rin sila sa mga dahilan kung bakit hindi na ganoon kalungkot ang nararamdaman ko.

My eyes were fixated on the sky above me, hoping that his soul could hear my words for him in mind in wherever he is right mow. There was a group of birds that passed by... like they just insisted to bring my message to my father. I hope they will continue to be the messenger of my words.

Araw-araw tinutupad ni mama ang sinabi niyang babawi siya. She always spoils me with her brimming love and care. She even sometimes treats me like a baby because she said that she never experienced taking care of me as a baby... dahil wala siya sa tabi ko noong mga panahong sanggol pa lamang ako.

Hinahayaan ko na lang siya kahit na minsa'y napapasimangot ako. Hinahayaan ko na lang dahil alam kong hindi ko iyon kailan man naramdaman sa kinalakihan kong ina.