Birthday night

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***mentions rape***

After my birthday everyone decided just to stay the night bc Danis was tomorrow. I was laying in bed when Zach walked in.
Ready for the TikTok he said setting his phone up
Yup I said getting up. I walked over and placed his arms around my waist. After filming TikToks.
Hey, can I play you a song? It's very important and special to me. it happened to me a couple years ago I asked looking up at Zach
Yeah you can always he said
It's something I've been hiding. The only person who knows is Charli I said starting to tear up
Baby, you can always share anything with me. I won't tell anyone he said wiping my tears
Zach this song was written because I was raped I said looking over at him. I saw the stunned face on him.
Baby, I'm here he said holding me in his arms. He felt my breathing getting irregular.
Do you want Jaden and Dani? He asked. I just shook my head yes. I grabbed my phone and texted the girl's group chat

 I grabbed my phone and texted the girl's group chat

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I heard the door open and seen everyone in here. I started freaking out more. My breathing was getting worse. Charli ran over and pulled me into her arm.
Look at me and only me. You are safe. He's not here she said forcing me to look at her. I looked around the room again for her to pull me to look at her. Stop he's not here Bebe. I know you're looking for him. Don't. He's gone. You will never see him again she said pulling me into a hug. I buried my head into her chest. I felt someone sit next to us. I looked over to see Jaden and then looked around. I noticed he wasn't here. My breathing started to become regular.
Char, I said with a scratchy voice
I'm here okay. I love you she said
I love you too I said still having tears rolling down my face.
Lani I heard Jaden say. I looked over and seen him looking at me with a worried look along with everyone else.
Guys I need to tell you something I said
Lani, you don't need to. It's gonna make you relive things. I get you need to say something but don't force it out Charli said
It's time char. I'm just gonna play a song I said It will say everything I added getting up and pulling Charli with me. I could see everyone with confused looks. I went over to my laptop and grabbed my flash drive. I went on my locked file I had. This song is gonna tell you everything. Dani don't blame yourself for not protecting me. Along with you Tyler and Christian. This happened right after we lost dad I said hitting play (play song)

She cried because the pain was unbearable
She cried because no matter how strong she was, he was still stronger
He could hear her crying out and begging him to stop
But it only seemed to make him want more of her
The louder she got
The harder he went, the more she wept the more he took
And so he kept on taking what he
Assumed belonged to him, until he was satisfied
And at that moment the rest of the innocence that she
Had barely been holding onto was drained from her eyes
She stared of into the nothingness while he spoke into the background
His voice was muffled and her mind was drifting
She felt frozen, lost, isolated, worthless
Completely fucking empty
Beggin' and screaming, "please stop, I can't take it. I mean it"
But he kept on going, panic overflowing, tears is flowing
Man I barely even know him, why do he feel like I owe him?
Any part of me at all, he took that shit as if he fucking owned it
All I'm doing is relaying what I'm thinking, but not saying
I been locked up with my own thoughts, I aint even fucking praying
I been locked inside me room, I feel like I been going crazy
Why the fuck am I so chill about it?
Why don't this shit phase me?
Front seat of his SUV, we drunk and he on top of me
It start to hurt so fucking bad, so I'm like "hold up- get of please"
But he say I aint running 'till he cumming I'mma take the D
And now I'm fucking crying, I can't take it, he aint listening
But fuck it- y'all don't get, y'all could never fucking understand
How it feels to be a woman stuck under a fucking man
Crying and you fighting- and you can't even move his fucking
Hands, lay there and you crying
Till he's done with his fucking demands
Just incase some of y'all mother fuckers uneducated
Lemme break it down, shut the fuck up, just listen, I'll explain it
Any woman can change he mind at anytime, fuck the arrangements
Matter of fact, its the fuck with sometimes she don't gotta say shit
I know that it's hard to understand when you a selfish man
And everything in your life was given to you from someones hands
So everything you see in life, you take it, done it all your life
Man, why you think women so pressed
To walking around with guns and knifes?
When I told my wife all she said was "damn thanks for sharing"
If it ain't my best friend, then who else is supposed to be caring?
Told another mother fucker, he ain't believed it, said I was trippin'
What's the fuck the point of saying shit
Thats why I keep this shit it
And the shittiest part about it was he was my own blood
And I don't mean a relative, I mean the gang, it fucking sucks
When it be your own people who fuck you up, like yo what the fuck
You supposed to protect me, now I don't even wanna throw signs up
I'm scared for life, its hard to find my old self, I lost my own mind
But just like every other trauma in my life- man I'll be fine
I aint no snitch, I recognise that karma's real, and so am I
So fuck it, I'll keep punching, just let him believe in his own mind
I'm good, man, don't ask me how I'm feeling, how I'm doing
I've gone years and years without human
Connection, y'all done ruined my perception and my movement
Talking to myself, I'm fluent
I've been screwed over so many times
By my own kind, so fuck y'all, screw it
My own father gave me the greatest peice of advice, he said,
"The older that you get the more you will start to realise
That no one actually gives a fuck
And won't for the rest of your life"
And now that I been growing up, I see that he couldn't be more right
This bull shit happened right after I fucking lost him, how 'bout that
Now anywhere I go, I gotta deal with another fucking man
That I just ain't him, I hated him, fucking mad I want him back
Honestly, I just miss my fucking dad

Once the song finished I looked up. I had tears falling down my face. Charli came over and sat down on the bed with me. I buried my head into her chest. I felt someone sit on the other side. I looked up to see Dani Tyler and Christian. They opened their arms and I jumped into them getting pulled in for a group hug.
Lani I heard mads say after awhile of hugging my brothers can we talk alone she added with her words choking. I shook my head yes and we walked out of my room.
What's up I said wiping tears that were still falling
Lani, I had the same thing happen to me. I didn't tell anyone about it. His name was Dominic she said
The name she said was the same of the one who took my innocences. I had to ask.
Was his name Dominic Ryan I asked. By the stunned look on her face I could tell it was him. It wasn't his first time taking someones innocence. We both started crying in each other's arms. I couldn't believe she went through this with him. We heard the door open and I seen it was Zach and Jonah. They came over and joined our hug. Not even asking questions soon everyone else joined. Everyone made TikToks to lighten the mood. But didn't help much

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