I, psycho.

Chapter Four.

-Sorry for the delay, I have been and I'm still sick. Your prayers and kind comments will be appreciated.

As a safety precaution, I called my psychiatrist the next day, "I met someone" was the first thing I said, I'd long since evolved past the time of useless pleasantries.

  She was immediately alarmed, infact, I'd bet my non-existent left testicle that she was paging my grandmother even as she talked to me. "Did you get his name?" She asked with obvious apprehension.

  "I'm no fool, missus, I got no form of identification" I said blandly, "not his name, his number, his address, even what he looks like"

  I could hear the confusion in her voiced as she said, "why--"

"His voice" I told her, my hand tightening with effort to not remember the said voice, "like drug to a addict I was practically drawn in, I could barely control myself"

   "Do you have time to come over?" She asked, urgency coating her tone.

  "I'll make time, I'll be there tommorow" I said and was about to hang up when I added, "with this occurrence on mind, I will need a permit slip from school, indefinitely"

There was a heavy pause, "indefinitely is a long time"

                       I hung up.

She wasn't taking me serious enough which was perfectly normal since she wasn't the one biting her fucking nails like a psychopath which, come to think of it, I actually was, but, I digress.

  Little miss indefinately-is-a-long-time had to go. And no, not go as in go to the loo. Hmm, perhaps she did need to go the go I wasn't talking about...

  "Grandmother, I need a free pass to be absent from school indefinitely and a new psychiatrist" I said into the phone upon calling her line, "maybe one actually listens to me this time"

   She made a gruff sound that was between an acknowledgement and a reproach, "I've been debriefed, do you think you need to be transferred?" She asked with full confidence in my craziness.

  I thought about, stopped chewing my nails enough to view the damage then replied, "if I never see him again then I'll be fine, but if I do, there is no guarantee that I won't imprint on him"

  She sighed like she was tired of this conversation, of me. But that's okay, at various points in my life, I'd been tired on me too.

  "Do you or you not need to be transferred is the question" she asked heavily.

I was disagreeing even before I thought about it, "no, I do not"

         We were both silent after that.

               Yeah, I was fucked.

"Which probably means I do have to be transferred." The fact that I'd disagreed when it was so obvious that I needed to transfer meant that I was far more gone than I realized.

  I dropped to the ground, clutching my chest with my free hand. My stomach clenched and unclenched as the thought of the inevitable flitted across my mind.

  Of all my illnesses, I thought my Fae's sudden imprinting on a male of her choice coupled with my Separation Anxiety Disorder took the head of the lot.

   The sudden obsession, the unreasonable longing, the unhealthy fixation and irrational preoccupation with another being so uninterested in me was the worst feeling I'd ever felt. I'd only ever felt it once, but trust me, it was not pretty.

  I let out a nervous laugh that turned into a choked sob. It was strange that I could feel this much, which was little by all standards but mine and feel absolutely nothing for others. I guess it revealed that I was first and foremost, selfish. Old news, really.

  "Listen" my grandmother's voice cackled over the phone. I had, for a second there, forgotten about her, "I can get you out of there in three minutes--"

  My eyes squeezed shit at the uncommon glaze of emotion in her words, I cut in, "you could zap me across the continent Grandmother and it won't make a bloody difference" I took in a shaky breath and focused on not burning shit to the ground when she was still on the line, plenty of time for that later, "once I'm hooked...I'm hooked"

   I cut the call. There was nothing she could do for me now. In this, I was well and truly alone.