17

chapter 43: christmastime cigarettes.

author's note:

hello!!

let's first and foremost address the elephant in the room... the fact that i haven't updated 17 in hmmmmmmm... forever... yeah, that happened...

i'm more of a poet than i am a story teller or novelist, though i also love this with my whole heart, but i guess what i'm trying to say is i started to mainly focus on that... due to the way life was going... and how poetry seemed to be so.... almost healing. i will hopefully be publishing a poetry book sometime in the future, so i really hope you'll love to read that as well...

life got... interesting during this past year. i'm no longer 17, i'm 18 now. i actually started writing this when i was still 16 and its insane to think it's been almost 2 years.

it hasn't been easy... i am... hm... u know, a mentally unstable growing girl, and there's a lot i have to deal with... as i'm sure you do too... i'm just... trying... and that's all you can ever do.

(btw not asking for sympathy at all, ew, literally just explaining why i write the way i write and why i've taken such big break from writing)

hopefully i will be updating frequently from now on. i have this entire story mapped out in my head, mainly because so much of it is based in real life,,, hmmmm,,, ha. ha. yikes... not telling you which parts.... because.... yikes again :D but i really look forward to writing more of sky's story.

it has a very, very special place in my heart... for obvious reasons.

i can't thank you all enough for the support the book has been getting these last few weeks. i truly feel so appreciated for my writing and that means more than you will ever know.

my entire life, writing has been the one thing that has helped me through it all... i want to eventually make writing and all things communicating and art my career, and to know that there are people out there who actually enjoy reading that i write makes me happy beyond words.

honestly. wattpad says my story is worth 12.5 hours of reading right now... it's over 170.000 words long so far... and to think people actually use that much of their time to read something that i wrote... it warms my heart... so, so much. so THANK YOU.

i also would like to say that my first language isn't english, so if anything ever sounds a bit weird, i'm sorry... keep in mind i usually write in the middle of the night lol.

before we jump to the actual chapter, i can't let the opportunity pass to talk about what is happening in the world right now... i'm sure, unless you live under a rock, you're aware of what is happening in Palestine right now... the conflict with Israel.

by any means do i want any of this to come out as performative activism... it's not. it comes from a place of genuine worry and anger towards the whole situation.

i'd much prefer to boost Palestinian voices and allow much more well versed people on the subject to speak instead of me, but as that is not possible on wattpad, this is what i'll be doing.

because doing nothing is not an option.

back to the point...

it's actually not just right now, it's been on going for a long time and it's obviously devastating and our duty to do our best to help.

i've seen some terrible pictures from the things that are taking place there... and i am privileged enough to say i get triggered by seeing some images???? these 'triggering pictures' to us are these people's reality. this horror is their day to day life....... can't you see how wrong that is???

did you know that the average age for a Palestinian is literally 20 years old?? that around 40% of the population is under 15?? do with all of that information what you will.