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chapter 24: "telling everyone and their moms".

And I'm so sick of them,

Coming at me again,

'Cause if I was a man,

Than I'd be the man.

"I'm nervous, V." I tell her as I walk around my room like a crazy person.

I've actually been starting to believe more and more I'm going crazy as the days go by... don't ask why, it's just a feeling.

"Sky, chill. It's not like y'all are going to record a sex tape in the middle of the court, you know?" She says. "You'll just stop acting like strangers, right? You can even not see each other, not kiss, not interact at all whatsoever. It's just that you won't forbid your own selves to be around each other if you want to... if it makes sense."

She is so calm about it, it's getting in my nerves. 

Oh, poor baby is just trying to help, but I'm scared as fuck, to be honest. 

Today is Friday. As in 6.p.m. As in one hour away from heading to school for the game, facing reality for the first time since my agreement of freedom with Noah. 

I'm losing my damn mind. 

All my friends might see us, all my non friends might see us, my parents might see us, Campbell might see us. Campbell. My God. Sky, you're not gonna spiral over this again.

"Yeah, I know, but Noah, he..." is a whole fucking mess. "...is so amazing, but, he can be a little intense, you know? And he said that he wanted to shove us down Campbell's throat from day one, and he said said he was joking and I made him promise he wouldn't do shit like that but... I mean, I don't fucking care, or I'm trying to not care, if everyone knows at this point, but Campbell, I want to believe it will all be fine, but the part of me that thinks he might be hurt by it... I- I don't know... I don't want him to be hurt at all, by any means, that's literally the last thing I want."

"Sky, he won't. Stop it. And even if he did, I'm sorry, I just can't help but say it... I know you love him and all that, but when will you understand he fucked up time and time again and here you are more worried over him getting a little sad than your own happiness." Violet says sounding a little frustrated.

I know she isn't very fond of Campbell. I know she thinks he needs someone there for him at any given moment or else he might fall apart and that annoys her. I know she hates what he did to Jorja, and a lot of things he does. I know she thinks he plays the victim, I know a lot of things.

But she doesn't know so much, but it's also not place to tell her.

And maybe I'm dumb, but I feel like he never fucked up with me.

"I could be perfectly happy without telling everyone and their moms that I'm fucking Noah 6 times a week! And all of this would be avoided." I say equally frustrated.

I'm kinda contradicting myself. I'm walking contradiction. I want and don't want this.

"Okay, wait, no... Hm, it's just that yeah, I like to be able to be around Noah in public but I don't like that it implies people actually knowing, you know? I just wanted this to be between me and him only and now it won't and people and Campbell... and... I don't fucking know. I'm just scared this will fuck everything up... or lead to it in the long run." I say looking down.

"Sky, no one will fuck it up. You are both way too head strong for letting people do that, you know? Everything is gonna be fine. Love wins always." She smiles. There she goes with the love bullshit, goodness gracious. "What? Will people talk shit? I don't know, but if they do, fuck them."