17

some thoughts and some poetry.

hi everyone!! yours truly, back at it again! how is everyone?

i hope you're all doing so good.

i've been gone for a sweet little minute.. and no, this is not a new chapter.. yet.. but it is.. somethingggggg.

i feel like i have some explaining to do. - god, that sounded like a youtuber starting an apology video lol. but no...

i've said this in some comments but i want to put it here so that everyone can read it... so...

firstly... about this story. sometimes i take a little longer (~little~) to update because, honestly, it is not super easy for me to write it.

as i've said, this story is heavily inspired in my real life. all the characters are based on real people and so are about 70% of the storylines... so yeah. pretty personal. and some of it isn't so happy... as you can tell... and some people are not even in my life anymore...

idk... it's a lot. lots of feelings, u know?

to top it off - i would not necessarily want to share this about me, but i feel like if it can help anyone feel like they're not as alone than i should say it - i have borderline personality disorder.

i try to romanticise it to the best of my ability. see the perks in it. tbh, that's something i use writing this story for at times... but it is not all rainbows and flowers. at all.

feeling emotions very deep is beautiful until the emotion you're feeling very deep is pain. and then being on this planet feels unbearable.

it's really hard to navigate life sometimes. and this disorder does hold me back from doing a lot of shit... it does make my life a lot harder... and sometimes i try to look past it... but it's the truth.

i moved to college and back home in the spare of 2 days. i have a terrible time with stability. with what i want... who i am.

life has been a bit hectic these past few weeks. and i feel like i owed you all an explanation as to why there were no updates.

and i also wanted to say that if you are struggling with whatever it is mentally... i'm here. struggling as well. and i'm here to tell you how no easy it is. how understandable it is that you sometimes can't do everything you wish you could.

you are so strong. so loved. so important.

and, with the right help, it will get better. i promise.

i'm going to therapy every week, writing a lot... trying. and trying is all you can do.

i love you. i really do.

and, while i'm still not giving you a new chapter, i'm gonna give you something else.

idk if you know, but before i'm a novelist, i'm a poet.

i've been writing poetry ever since i was 6 years old. it's my passion.

so i would like to share some poems with you.

they're originals.

you can picture them as being written by sky about noah or campbell... since they were written by me about the people who inspires noah and campbell.

or you can just read them. and let poetry do its job of simply warming up your soul a little bit.

once again: i love you. i missed you. and i will start writing a new chapter as soon as i can.

now be good to my poems. i'm handing a piece of my soul to you all. lol. but seriously.

oh, and when i publish my poetry book, i want all of you to have a copy :')