Eternally Yours - Frerard -

33.

Frank's POV
one year later

You never realize what you have, until it's gone.

Those were words I really knew the meaning of. I learned it very young.

When my dad first died, that was when I first knew the true meaning of those words.

But no pain could ever compare to the pain I felt that day.

That godforsaken day.

That day I had to watch the life drain from his eyes, almost dramatically. Almost like his death was theatrical. Almost like god was trying to give me hope that he would make it.

And hope I had. I never gave up hope. Even when the doctors and nurses had said that it was a slim chance, it was still a chance. And I held onto that little beacon of hope.

I held onto it tight. That was the only thing keeping me through this.

I couldn't let them win. I had to fight.

And Gerard had to fight to.

And fight he did.

He made it. He came out of surgery alive, he was alive!

The phone call and made my night. I raced to the hospital first thing in the morning, fully expecting to walk up to Gerard and give him the biggest hug, take him back home where we could be protected.

But someone had made it there before me.

Someone knew before I did.

"Hi, I'm just here to pick up a patient, uhm, Gerard Way?"

"Gerard was actually picked up here just a couple minutes ago, are you Frank by chance?" The receptionist had asked.

"Uh, yeah? How did you know?"

"Gerard asked me to give this note to you. He knew you would be coming to get him."

That day, she handed me a folded up piece of paper labeled frnk, then went back to typing away mindlessly on the computer sat in front of her. 

That piece of paper ripped my heart into pieces. That piece of paper, that changed everything.

That piece of paper was the last thing he ever left me with. The last thing that there ever would be to remind me of him. 

Frank,

I knew this was his plan. All along. The second he showed up, I knew what he was planning. I wish I would have been able to warn you, but I was too scared to speak. I tried to let you know, I tried to warn you but I failed. He got me Frank. He knew I'd be alone here, and he knew exactly how to get me. He's smart Frank. He'll come for you. Now that he's got me, he will come for you. He will hunt you down personally until he know that you're dead. You've gotta get out of here. You've gotta go. I know you'll want to find me, but please don't. I'm telling you this for your own good, you can't win. He has men everywhere. There's no escape Frank, please. Please you've gotta get out of here. I can't promise you that I'll be okay, but I can promise you that I'll be alive. I will come for you, I will find you, just please, go. I will always love you Frank. I will always remember the times we shared, the way you made me feel, you're unforgettable. And no matter what twisted, sick, fucked up things Bert does to me, he can't change us. He can't break us. No matter how far apart we are, no matter how much time we're apart, I will still be with you. I will always be with you. And I will always, love you. I found my other half, which is something not a lot of people can say they've done. This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write, but I couldn't leave you. I couldn't leave you with no explanation. I needed to do this. And I'm so sorry for everything. Everything I put you through. Now you have to live the rest of your life in fear because of me, and I am so deeply sorry for that. But I promise you that one day, I'll get out of this, and we will no longer have to live in fear. 

Tell Mikey that I'm sorry. I know he's not gonna be the same, and I'm gonna miss him so goddamn much. Tell him that despite all the shit i've done to him, i fucking love him. He's my baby brother, and I never could've gone through half this shit without him.

Tell the rest of our friends that I'm sorry too. I roped them all into this too, and they could be in danger. I would warn them too. Everybody needs to be aware that they are in danger.

But most importantly, tell Vic and Kellin that this isn't their fault. They couldn't have predicted this, there's no way. I know they'll blame themselves, mostly Vic. He'll hold himself personally accountable, but I need him to know that it's not his fault. Bert is crazy. He's a sadistic little fuck who will do anything in the world to find me no matter where I go. He has his ways, and he's unstoppable. I don't hold them personally accountable at all.

The only person who should be held accountable is me.

This is nobody's fault but my own, and I'm gonna miss you guys so fucking much.

I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused all of you. I never expected for it to end this way, but I guess I should've known, that all good things must come to an end. 

-xoxo gee