GABRIELLA'S
I wanted to shout! This is not happening! It's like my world came crushing down when I saw him---Kiefer---kissing someone!
I was just curious when I accidentally heard two women talking about someone na oh so hot and so gwapong lalake na artistahin ang itsura na nakaupo sa may bench---that's they're linya kanina while talking. I didn't mean to pry or something, but out of curiosity na lamang siguro kaya sinundan ko din sila. I was expecting to see someone like--Vhong Navarro I guess, siya lang din kasi ang madalas kong makita dito sa mall na 'to, with his sons na namamasyal, so napasama na lang ako. But then, as I walked down the hall, nakaramdam ako ng paninikip ng dibdib, maybe it was because of the weather--medyo mainit na din kasi, so I just shrugged the feeling off, but then, when I saw the man, they we're talking about, I saw the biggest shocked of my entire life! No fucking way! It's as if my world stopped revolving the moment I saw him---kissing a woman! I didn't bother confronting him sino ba naman ako sa kanya. I walked as fast I could. All I want is to get out of that place ---away from him! The nerve of the guy. How dare he, make me feel this way. Hindi siya kawalan kung yon ang iniisip niya. Kaya pala wala na siyang oras sa akin---I mean, all this time I thought he's busy because of the anniversary, and now makikita ko na lang siyang nakikipaghalikan sa kung sino, in public?!
Luke was right, he's an ass! Siguro yung babaeng yon na rin ang date niya, that's why he didn't even bother asking me out, kasi meron na siyang bagong toy! And here I am thought--we're ok. Iniisip ko lang pala.
"Bru---ok ka lang?" Napatingin naman ako kay Niks, habang inaabot sa akin ang isang basong tubig. Gosh! Ni hindi ko man lang napansin na nasa tabi ko na si Niks. "You know, you can talk to me, I'm here Yla, I'm all ears." Maamong sabi niya. Napangiti naman ako. I miss him calling me Yla, siya lang kasi tumatawag sa akin no'n. Pero bigla ko nanamang naalala 'yong nangyari kanina.
Naisip ko why do I even care about him anyway? Kung ang inaakala niya na magmamakaawa ako, for him to love me back, hinding-hindi mangyayari yon. He can rot in hell kasama ng babaeng yon for all I care. "Bru? You're spacing out again. Are you sure you're ok?" Muling tanong niya, at napatango na lamang ako bilang sagot. "Yeah, I-I'm ok Niks, p-pagod lang siguro ako." Pag-iiwas ko. I know Niks, he can be persistent sometimes, at alam kong hindi niya ako titigilan kapag may nabanggit ako sa kanya. It's better this way---na ako lang ang nakakaalam nito. Ayaw ko nang dagdagan ang pasanin ni Niks, he's been through a lot nitong mga nakaraang araw. Hindi rin naman magtatagal, mawawala din 'tong nararamdaman ko sa kanya. I know--I love him, pero hindi pa naman ganoon kalala, pwede pang pigilan--I guess. "You know something? May napapansin ako sa inyong dalawa ni sir Kiefer, are you two like---you know, an item now?" Tanong niya bigla, na siya namang dahilan ng pagbuga ko ng tubig na iniinum ko. "Gosh bru! You're so like kadiri alam mo yon, manners naman." Maarteng saad niya. Napapaubo akong sumagot sa kanya. "A-ano namang pinagsasasabi mo dyan? S-san mo naman nakuha yong ganoong i-idea?" Shit! I silently cursed myself, why am I even stuttering. Kung tutuusin simpleng tanong lamang yon that requires a simple answer, like "meron o wala" answer, something like that. "Wala, natanong ko lang, It fascinates me how sir Kiefer looked at you, parang may something kasi, besides napapansin ko na madalas ka niyang pinapatawag sa office niya, which is I think, very suspicious kasi ba naman walang masyadong nakakapasok sa office niya maliban na lang kay secretary and some friends, and you. So ayun nga. Care to tell me something?" Mahabang litanya niya. Nicollo is indeed very observant no doubt about that. Maski nga ako hindi ko napansin na mangilan-ngilan lang pala ang nakakapasok sa office ni Kiefer, and that includes me. I was dumbfounded when I realized na masyado na pala kaming obvious sa paligid, I was hoping na sana si Nicollo lang ang nakaisip non. Pero siyempre ano pa bang magagawa ko, even if I say it's pure business, they will all think of something beyond that, or so I thought. Kasi madalas mapaghinala din 'tong baklang herodes na 'to eh. "Well, ginagawa lang naman niya akong taga timpka ng kape niya, k-kahit tanungin mo pa sa secretary niya, a-ano ka ba? Kung ano-anong naiisip mo." Kinakabahan akong nagsasalita, to think it'a just Nicollo. "Hmm. Baka nga, hindi mo naman siguro gugustuhing maging props ni Kiefer no? Besides, you're smart Yla, I'm sure you won't jump into something na alam mong dehado ka." Bakit ganoon ang boses niya? Parang may ibang pinapahiwatig ang mga sinabi niya. I can't look him in the eye. He can easily read me, I know that. And that's what I am afraid off.
"Kamusta nga pala kayo nung babaeng ninja?" Pag-iiba ko ng usapan. I silently pray na sana hindi na niya i-open pa ang topic tungkol ka Kiefer. "Well, ayun, hindi nabubuo ang araw na hindi nasisira araw ko dahil sa kanya." Napapangiti naman ako sa sinabi niya. Well, that woman is something she's fiesty and tough kaya kahit si Niks hindi makaporma. "Pagbigyan mo na kasi Niks, malay mo, kayo talaga diba?" Natatawa kong wika, that automatically make him mad. O-oh, wrong choice of words. "Tigilan mo ako ha. Baka baliktarin ko kayong dalawa nung ninja turtle mo." Tawa na lang ako ng tawa sa sinabi niya. Gosh! I miss this, I miss him---etong kulitan namin ang nagpapasaya sa akin, nung time na wala pang Kiefer, ok pa. "Tell you what?" Pabitin niyang saad. "What?!" I wait in anticipation "I. Saw. Her. Vagina!" Shit! Bigla naman akong nakaramdam ng pag-iinit ng mukha ko sa narinig. "Yuck! Niks, you're so rude! Ang bastos mo, kadiri ka!" Pinaghahampas ko ang braso niya na siyang dahilan ng pagkalaglag niya sa sofa habang tawa ng tawa. "I-I was just messing with you! Hahaha, you should've seen your face, parang kamatis hahaha!" Tatawa-tawang sabi niya. Napapatawa na lang din ako sa kanya. Not that he's funny, but somehow kasi I know we're catching up sa mga oras na hindi kami magkasama. "Seriously?! Niks, siguro you feel something na kay ninja girl no?" Tudyong tanong ko sa kanya. "No. Fucking. Way! There's no way that I will fall for that psycho! Pwede ba? Tigilan mo nga ako." Nanggagalaiti niyang sigaw sa akin. "Why are you so mean to her? She's nice naman--konti nga lang, but still, kung sakaling maisipan mong magbalik-loob, you know? Magpakalalake, Niks, si ninja girl ang gusto kong patulan mo. Bagay na bagay kayo." Natutuwang kwento ko. "Don't blame me to be like this, I just want a person that can take care of you and I think, that ninja girl can do the job." Linya ko habang kumuha ng toast sa mesita. "Shut up. That, will never happen Yla, I swear! So just stop ok." Malamig na turan niya. He's being hard again. "Come on Niks, don't be so hard on yourself at sa kanya na din. I know that no matter how you hide it from me, I can feel that there's something going on to the both of you." I said it with a stern. "Gaya ng nangyayari sa inyo nung Kiefer na 'yon?" Nang-uuyam niyang sita sa akin. I was appalled with what he said. So he knows something huh? "Yla kahit hindi mo sabihin, I know that there's something going on with the two of you. I was just waiting for you to tell me." Sigaw niya sa akin. "Huh Yla? Ano pa't kaibigan mo ako kung hindi mo sasabihin sa akin lahat? I promise tatay Romy to look after you. Ano 'tong ginagawa mo ngayong kagagahan huh?!" He's so mad right now, na pakiramdam ko kayang kaya niya akong patayin sa mga titig pa lang niya. "N-niks, I-I"m so s-sorry Niks, I-I'm sorry, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko." I sobbed hard and let my tears fall. Pagod na pagod ang pakiramdam ko. Hindi ko inisip na ganito ang mararamdaman ni Niks sa mga ginagawa ko. I've been selfish, I'm his friend at mula pa noon pasanin na niya ako, siya lage ang takbuhan ko and this is what he get in return?
"I-I can't do anything, I love him, I so love him, Niks pero hindi pa man, nasasaktan na ako. It hurts that, the man I love is not inlove with me." Umiiyak kong saad. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Akala ko wala lang. Akala ko kaya ko.
"Sshhh. Hush now. Everything's happens for a reason Yla, just be strong, have faith and you'll realize, everything will fall back into they're righful places." Unti-unti akong nakakaramdam ng antok habang sinasabi niya 'yon. "You're strong Yla, you know what to do. And I know, you can set things right. Let him realized kung anong nawala sa kanya. Hindi mo siya kailangan." Madiing sabi niya. Somehow, I felt relieved when he muttered those words. He's right, I should be strong.
Hindi ako dapat magpatalo sa isang Kiefer Liam Dela Rosa. I know he can play. But I can do---better.
