JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Grimm

Chapter XXVII: Flash Gordon ~Miguel JoJo vs. Levi Zeppeli~

"Anne... I really don't wanna do this..." said Miguel, as Anne smiles and pushes him into the "ring."

Miguel JoJo faces off Levi Zeppeli in a caged ring. Levi brings out his Stand, Flash Gordon, as Miguel brings out his, Star Platinum.

Flash Gordon is a dinosaur Stand that resembles a small humanoid dinosaur with a beak. It is golden in color.

"Bring it, old man!" yelled Miguel, as he pinches his hat and slides his fingers on the bill. He then points to Levi, posing with his chest out and two fingers pointed at him. "STAR PLATINUM: THE W-!!!"

*buzz*

*zzt*

*CRACK SPLAT*

Miguel screams in pain to see that his arms are torn off.

"MIGUEL!!!" yelled Anne. "DAD!??"

Levi smiles as Flash Gordon drops Miguel on the ground.

The cage is opened and Anne runs inside of it.

"MIGUEL!!!" she yelled, grabbing Miguel's head.

Two Weeks Later...

Miguel, now overweight, grabs a full can of Spam and Vienna Sausage and puts it in the oven with some onions, butter, and oil, baking it. He then grabs a cup full of rice and puts it on a plate. He then puts pickle relish, mayonnaise, ketchup, and hot sauce, mixing them. Miguel puts the onions, Spam, and Vienna Sausage into a chopping board then chops them. He then "spices" the mixture with the onions and chopped meats. He then puts some freshly chopped lettuce and tomato. He then grates a lot of cheese on the abomination.

"Hey, kids..." said Miguel, as his two children look awfully concerned for their father. "I can't seem to marry your mother so here I am creating my greatest creation yet! The Spamburgerwich Rice Meal Edition. Since there's no bread, I used rice instead.
You know, kids... I eat this when I'm depressed. You should have depression food, kids! Huh? Eh?"

Raphael shakes his head and crawls away, hooting.

"Miguel," said Anne, crossing her arms and walking inside the dining room. "You should ask my dad for a rematch."

"Anne... I don't think I'm ever gonna get a happy ending. Y'know why?! Society..." said Miguel, gorging the meal in only a few bites and lying down in a fetal position on the dining room floor.

"Miguel!" shouted Anne. "I thought you don't eat red meat because you were forced to eat Cryptids on the island!"

"I do now..." said Miguel, as his fangs showed. "Rawr... Don't you think I'm a sexy Vampire, Anne? Eh? Hiss... Hehehe..."

"Miguel... I can literally smell your ass from over here. Take a shower," said Anne, putting her fists on her hips akimbo.

"Let's elope! Abandon everything!" shouted Miguel.

Their kids growl at him.

"Except you two," said Miguel.

Iggy the Dog growls at him, too.

"Neither you, Iggy," said Miguel.

"Miguel... Just please fight my father," said Anne. "Why? Because I feel like you would do anything for anyone else that needs you. Everyone except the people who actually care about you.
You're a Goddamned great hero, Miggy... A great dad, too... So, be the guy worthy of becoming my husband. Be that guy that everyone's heard of in the news, okay? For me?"