The Devils On My Shoulder | ChanHoMin

2

seungmin pulled on his hoodie, shoving his keys in his pocket as he left the apartment, it was late but he felt uncomfortable in the apartment alone, he couldn't relax or sit still, his mind was on overdrive and thoughts were spinning around his head like a tornado.

he left the building and walked down the street towards the convenience store at the end of the road. he slipped his hands into his hoodie pockets, staring at the floor as he walked, messing with the money in his pocket.

he looked up as he got to the store, something unsettling catching his eye.

chained up outside the store was a german shepherd dog, a big one with dark fur, sitting on the pavement, staring at seungmin with intensity. it had to be the same dog from the park.

seungmin froze, immediately looking around him fast. if it was the dog from the park, those scary men might be nearby too, even in the store. he stood still for a few seconds, feeling the anxiety make his stomach twist and a lump form in his throat.

he rubbed his face with his sleeves, taking a shaky breath.

"it's okay seungmin, just breathe. remember what lixie said, don't overthink it." he whispered.

he took another breath, looking up towards the store as he walked in.

his eyes darted everywhere, trying to see if those men were there but from what he could see, the place was empty apart from a woman behind the counter. he kept his hood up as he walked towards the drinks.

he glanced down every aisle before he walked there, making sure he was safe. he didn't know what was wrong with him but the thought of those men being near him shook him to his core. seungmin looked at the options for drinks, opening the door and taking out a can of soda, then another since it was a two for one sale.

as he took the second can he heard a loud barking from outside, a deep, aggressive bark. he jumped, staring intensely at the door, he jumped again and let out a small cry when the door to keep the drinks refrigerated slammed shut where he let it go without realizing.

he breathed heavily, holding his chest as he stared at the door, trying to calm down.

"it's okay, it's okay, i'm safe." he mumbled, closing his eyes.

––

seungmin sat bolt upright in bed, panting, he had beads of sweat sticking his brown to his forehead, he gripped the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white, those faces, those eyes, the stares that pierced his soul and filled his head every time he closed his eyes. it wouldnt go away, it haunted him, he felt like those eyes held a message, but he couldnt decode it, he scrunched his eyes shut, only to stare in the face of those men.

he yelled in frustration, he got out of bed, stumbling into the bathroom, he had to have some kind of medication for this. his hands trembles as he tried not to panic, he walked back to his room with nothing but his face in his hands, sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to make sense of it. he tried to remember a grounding technique to stop himself from panicking, he tried to breathe deeply but nothing worked, he felt like the walls were closing in, he needed to get out, he was soaked with sweat and breathing so fast he was dizzy. those faces were everywhere, he didnt think, he grabbed a hoodie and his keys and ran out of his apartment, leaving the building. he walked fast down the road, having no idea where he was going to go.

"get out of my fucking head!" he yelled out loud, stopping under a street light.

he pulled at his own hair, closing his eyes as he tried to think straight. he left his phone, so he couldnt call felix, he felt tears sting his eyes as he started breathing fast.