I'm my own alpha

Chapter 52

Our morning is occupied with some tennis so I leave later on in the afternoon, after dinner. The latest Saint is expecting me is Monday, hell I don't even know if he's here.

Turing the key in hand I remember Tomas' words, if you didn't show up last night, of showed up later, I think you would have witnessed him cheat, I push the door open.

He wouldn't do that to me.

My legs travel upstairs in a rush and I find myself shoving the door open, my shoulders fall, the rooms empty. What was I expecting? Did I want to catch him in here with that blonde?

I turn finally letting myself breath. "Saint?!" I work my way back downstairs, I check our gym and every place I believe I can find him before coming to the conclusion that he isn't here. Is he even going to come today? Maybe I'm too early?

I tug on my long sleeved crop top, I re-enter our room just to start pacing around. My stomach knots making me reconsider the whole confronting him act. Do I even want the answer to the questions I'm seeking? What if I hurt myself in the process? What then?

"Hey," I start to rehearse, "I knows we talked about his but-no! Um," I change routes, "do you still like her-no!" My breathing shakes and I try again. "I think we need to talk about something that's been bothering me..." my next words build in my throat.

"You said that you would fucking drop her! No.." I chuckle to myself, that can't work. "Were you thinking about me when you invited her over? Do you even think about me anymore? When you text her, when you look at her, do you see more?-no.."

I frown at my failed attempts. It's not like I had a lot to worry about anyways, I stay stuck in our room rehearsing so I'm ready whenever he comes back. He doesn't however, come back any times soon, I let my question swallow me before I finally hear the door open.

I shoot up looking at the time, two thirty, in the morning. I get up and pull my bubble gum pink joggers down before going to meet Saint downstairs. To my surprise he isn't alone, his beta has his lazy arm around him as they stumble in.

"Is he okay?" My voice seems to grab his beta's attention, Ly I think it is, scans me before nodding.

"He's just drunk."

"Drunk?" I take the last step down then move to them. "Do you need help taking him up?" I watch how he shut the door with his foot.

"No, I think I can manage." I'm already hauling Saint's other arm over my shoulders, the weight of him carries me down a little but I still manage on my part. The scent of something sweet lingers on him, must be whatever alcohol he took to get him like this.

"There we go." We let him drop in the sheets sending his head in another direction as his body. My eyes catch the sight of red bruising at his neck and I crouch down to rub it. "Did we hit him?"

"You know, he asked for you." Ly tells me but my eyes stick to his neck, Saint's chest tries to fall as I pull the crew neck down some more revealing more pink going red bruises. Not bruises, love bites? Hickeys. I let the shirt go biting the inside of my cheek.

"Was the before or after miss blondie gave him those?" I look up at Ly, I hide my emotions, I hide how broken my heart feels, I hide how those broken shards dig into my lungs making it hard for to simply breath.

And I thought all I had to worry about were Tomas' assumptions, I thought he was overreacting when all this time, all this fucking time!-I step back away form his body. He lied to me. I take another step back. "Alpha Nadia!"

I'm already leaving, I need to get out of here. "Wait, alpha Nadia!" I race down the stairs putting my shoes on then just leave, no phone, no keys, I just fucking run.

My lungs burn as I blink my tears out, I can't stop running, I won't stop. Everything he said to me I believed, my eyes saw him kiss Bella and when he told me the contrary I was so desperate to believe him.

IM SO FUCKING STUPID!

Why did I listen to him? Why didn't I listen to myself? I knew this wasn't right yet I was as too busy under him to realize anything else. Now he has hickeys! HICKEYS?! Like what? He wouldn't even let me mark him and he's getting hickeys?

The burn form my lungs transfer to my legs but I keep pushing myself, I'm not slowing down as I feel my hair being brushed through by the wind. I'm taking a left before I realize who's house I'm at.

My little legs brought me here? I turn looking around, how long have I been running? I sniff and try collecting myself as I ring his doorbell then knock, more tears pour out.

He has his porch lights on, and the lights that are dug into the grass making a path shine bright too, yet I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't answer. But the door does open and I watch sleepy eyes study me.

I'm heaving, trying to let air into my lungs after the run I just did, I'm not cold but I'm trembling, all that fills the air is my shaky breaths.

I bite my bottom lip to stop a sob from escaping but I can't, it's an ugly sob and I've never been so ashamed to be so damaged by a boy. "He lied to me." The whisper of words come out as I press my palms into my eyes trying to stop the tears. "He lied-"

A hand is pressed at the back of my head and I'm stepping forward into a bulky figure, I bury my face into his chest and grip the sides of him for support. I wail harder. He lied.