I'm my own alpha

Chapter 64

I sit in my fathers car as he starts his engine. "Can you take me to Tomas'?"

"I think rest is what you need after that." We start moving.

"Please," I'm being careful to keep my gaze out my window.

"Nadia, another boy breaking your heart isn't what you need." I let out a shaky breath. "It doesn't take a genius to see the way Tomas looks at you, the same way Malic looked at you throughout dinner." I know dad!

"You seem to have this bad habit of making decisions and then telling me last minute exactly what is going on, so this time, all I ask of you is that you think. Think long and hard, think with your heart then your head."

I know. I have so damn much to think through. I literally just rejected my mate and feel nothing of the pain I used to feel, I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing. Have I gone numb?

I spot Tomas' neighbourhood and I look over at my father just as he pull up in front of Tomas' place. "Don't move too fast." He nods to me.

"Thank you!" I get out and make my way down his path, I ring the bell before knocking. Ever since our almost date a week again we haven't really made any time for just us, together, alone. The door swings open and there he stands.

I turn to see my father still there before I step in, the door shuts a second more as I'm taking my heels off shrinking in size. "You look a little too dolled up to be just dropped off," I mean he is just a tank top and grey joggers.

"I just need a hug right now." I move a step closer.

"Of course," his arms spread and I walk right into them warping my own around his neck, like the last time he warps his arms around my waist pulling me closer. I bury my head into him taking in the warmth of his skin. "Is everything okay?" He breaths into the nook of my neck.

I nod holding on so I don't fall apart.

There's no shame, no guilt, no worry, nothing. I tip toe and my littler legs are lifted off the ground, to ensures I don't fall at any given time I warp my legs around his wait. I just rejected my mate, I shouldn't be in the arms of another. Yet here I am, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

"Thank you Tomas," I mumble. "For being so patient with me." It doesn't take a genius to see the way Tomas looks at you. My own fathers words and my heart does a cartwheel. I want to say more, tell him that he is the only willing candidate, and I'm grateful but the words melt on my tongue.

We start to move and I let my eyes open to see we're going in the direction of the living room which is dimly lit, was he already in here? When we stop I pull away letting myself slide down. Pulling my skirt down I sit before lying down.

Tomas lifts my legs putting himself underneath them, I open my mouth to ask if I disturbed him and I end up rambling about tonight. I tell him about the conversation at the table and then move on to the rejection and how Malic cried. He fucking cried!

Whilst I talk with my eyes fixated on the ceiling, I feel the absent tender circles Tomas keeps making on me knees. I get distracted, forgetting what I'm supposed to say or fumbling over my own words, all because of his touch.

Finally I sit up to ask the first question I was supposed to when I sat. "I'm not distributing you am I? I know how I came unannounced and all, for the second time now."

"I don't mind the company." He lets his hand rest, I watch him scan me. "You kinda look like a business woman."

"Yeah?" I Look down at my outfit. "What makes you say that?"

"The shirt, the skirt, all you need is glasses and a red lip and you set." I try ignoring the fact his eyes lingered on my lips.

"Have you seen me in glasses? I can't rock glasses to save my life."

"I bet that's a lie." He laughs. "I've got glasses, you want to test that theory?"

"If I must." I shrug and he lifts my legs off of him to go find his glasses, he comes back just to reposition us with him under my legs. "I didn't know you wear glasses."

"They're not mine." He hands them to me and I take it before opening it with a hand and putting them on.

"Oh damn." The blur to them are unbelievable, I push them higher up the bridge of my nose then look up at him. "So?"

"Maybe glasses aren't your thing," he goes to take them off me and I let him. If you told me a month ago that I'll be sitting this close to Tomas with my legs thrown over him, I would laugh in your face, now look at me. Falling into the once green eyes I didn't find so attractive.

His eyes stay on mine and I feel a rush to my cheeks, I only remember when Malic used to make me feel this mushy inside, I guess I shouldn't compare the feeling since this isn't him. "Did you put blush on?"

"Yeah.." I lie dropping my eyes.

"Mhmm," he chuckles. "Do I make you nervous?"

"No." I rush my answer out.

"You make me nervous," he admits, "you'll never tell because I can always keep my cool," I roll my eyes to his response, "but my heartbeat is one thing I can't control." He doesn't say more so I take it he wants me to listen to his heart?

I do, seeing that his heart is playing jump rope. I miss a breath catching him once again looking at my lips, by impulse I lick them. If he wants to kiss me that bad, he should just do it, what is he waiting for a signal? Do I need to like do something to tell him it's okay?

He missed his last chance after our movie, but then again, I don't know if I would be okay with him kissing me back then. I don't even know why I'm even think about kissing him, what has gotten into me?!

He leans in making my look up form his lips to his eyes, I need to remember how to breath and I need to keep breathing or I'll pass out. "What happens if I kiss you?" His voice has lowered into something soft.

"Find out." He leans in some more to my words until his lips hover over mine. "Stop tormenting me." Our lips brush against each other as I look up at him through my eyelashes. I hear him take a sharp breath before my eyes shut and I feel the softness of his lips on mine.