I'm my own alpha

Chapter 56

I don't show up at lunch, instead I stay out next to Tomas, he finished the cafeteria hot dog he bought as I play with the tip of the straw in my mouth form my drink.

As much as I try to, I can't stop thinking about him, especially the time we spent together. I miss how much we always used to play like kids together, they way he would literally tackle me, the way he made me laugh.

"You should really let him speak his truth." I turn to Tomas' sudden words. "He won't stop until you do," he nods to something behind me and I follow his gaze to see Saint coming right for us.

"Give us ten minutes will you?" He takes it upon himself to sit right next to me and I shuffle over. Tomas stands.

"You like skittles right?" He asks me but I can't bring myself to answer. "Gum it is." I can tell form the direction he's going, he off to the convenient store close to our school.

"I know how hurt you are," he can't be staring with that, seriously? "I've put you through hell. You shouldn't have to sit here and constantly ask me to pick you, you should've have always been my first choice. I'm sorry I didn't realize that.

"There was a night, she was supposed to come over," I finally look over at him, the blue of his eyes, the pink of his lips, the curls, they all stand out. This is the confession I've been waiting for, yet I don't think I can handle it right now.

"The night you came home early she was supposed to come over, just to talk though, I knew it was wrong when you came home and I felt as if I was hiding it. Then I didn't tell you. I should have, because you heard it form Tomas.

"Your sense of attitude changed." He stops and we're left looking at one another. "I'm sorry Nadia, I haven't been treating you right, you deserve better. I'm in love with you and it took you leaving to realize it and I'm so sorry." He teaches out to touch me, I reject his touch, his hand drops.

"Okay." I tell him, I turn back to the field in front of me.

"Okay..." he sounds a little confused but I don't meet his eyes again. "Tell me what I can do, I want to fix this, let me fix it."

"There's nothing left to fix." My tone grows cold, hate him, remember to hate him. "I don't think you understand Malic but I'm not coming back," I turn to him, "I've stayed long enough for me to look stupid." His eyes grow a tint glossy.

"I want you to watch me be happy, I want you to see just how happy I can be without you. Every time you look at me, I want you to remember how you betrayed me." His lips part but I beat him to it. "I'm not the stupid girl that fell in love with your words.

"I won't take you back. Not any time soon." His eyes drop to the ground as the seconds of my words dig deeper into the already salty wound. He stands.

"I won't give up, I don't care what you tell me." I watch his feet before I can lift my head to meet his eyes, he doesn't say more, he turns his back on me and that's when I blink realizing how heavy my eyes are. Tears pour out as I watch him go.

"You know what!" He turns on his heels and come back. "I know you still care about me."

"Of course I still care about you," I wipe my eyes, I told myself I wouldn't cry in front of him, this time he sits in front of me. "Unlike like vampires, I can't just turn it all off."

"Then why are you fighting me."

"You cheated on me Malic! What else is there to do?!" I keep my eyes on my hands. He had all this time to let her go, all this time when I wasn't even around, now that I don't want anything to do with him, he's leaping. "You stood there and lied to my face."

"Do you know what distance does to wolves that are mated? I've marked you Nadia, you'll torture yourself being apart form me."

"You seem to be very educated on mates. Did you think about me when you were with her?"

"Nadia come on-"

"No! Please, tell me!" I pick my head up. "What does she have that I don't?" I forbid myself from shedding any more tears in front of him. "Tell me what happened, the night you came drunk out of your mind, tell me what happened."

His eyes study me, probably for bluff but I'm not kidding, I want to hear him say it. Here, now. "I--we don't have to talk about that."

"Why not? All of this happened because of that, why wouldn't you want to talk about it?" I watch him. "Would you like me to rephrase the question?"

"No." He knows me too well for that. "She lead me on and I let her...do her thing."

"What does that mean?" His eyes work away form me. "What is this thing that you let her do?" He flinches at my words before going to rub the back of his neck.

"Nadia come on," I chuckle to his response.

"I thought you wanted to fix things."

"Don't patronize me."

I smile at him. "Okay. I think we're done here. You've said you peace, I listened." I stand, he does the same just to tower over me. If everything was right, I would warp my arms around his neck taking his lips without a care in the world, but everything isn't right, so I step back.

"I am going to fix this."

"Mmhm." I look for any sign of Tomas before I move pad Malic and start going in the direction, I need to put space between us, I need to leave.

Twice in one day, for my impatience supporters, I hear you, I delivered. Enjoy:)