Technoblade oneshots

Rental Boyfriend (SamBlade)

:smugboo:
Wait this is not discord-

My only knowledge is from CDawgVA and prices from different sites. And then I made my own.

Idk how to write. Man this sucks

****

"I do have a boyfriend!"

"Then how come we've never seen him before?!"

"Why is it y'all business?!"

****

Technoblade lays on his bed, contemplating life. He's there wondering what to do and how to get someone to act as his boyfriend because of his friends. He was in a panic, anxious of getting teased for having no lover, so blurt out that he has one when in fact he doesn't.

Now he can't exactly ask for any of his friends to pretend as his boyfriend because everyone was there. They'd never believe the both of them if they were to come out.

"God. Give me a sign. (Hit me baby one more time) Save my soul from this wretched place." As if his prayers were heard, his phone lit up and he picks it up to see it was a Twitter notification with an interesting caption. He decides to open it and reads the post. "Rent a boyfriend? Wait what?" He gets up and puts his glasses on to read the advertisement.

After a few minutes of reading and processing what it meant, he taps on the link and it sent him to the website. "Okay so... I got my account and... Do I have to put my profile picture too? Ah just to be sure then and... I do this and um... Wow. It shows types and sexualities. This is cool." Techno whispers to himself and taps on some tags on the search bar. He presses on submit and the website loads.

After a second or two, it suggests the people according to the tags and in alphabetical order. He checks on a few profiles and he finds a few interesting ones. "I can't decide. Why is this hard? I'm just renting someone to be my boyfriend and choosing someone is hard." Techno complains.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Scroll back!!!

That green dude! That green dude!!

Techno looks in confusion and decides to scroll back up a few times and look at the profile.

Yes!!! That dude with green freckles!

He's not gonna lie, the dude is pretty cute and handsome so why not check his profile and see if he's alright.

Holy shit he's a creeper!!

He's a what?!

It's a creeper hybrid! Yoooo!!!!

Holy fuck he's hot

Oh no he's hot

Techno coughs in embarrassment and shakes his head. Damn these voices. Seems like a chill dude though. After debating with the voices for an hour, he decides he'll go with this guy and the website sent him to the messages.

Sam: Hello! My name is Sam! It's nice to meet you <3

WITH A FUCKING HEART. I don't think Technoblade's heart can take this. He's the baddest bitch in college, nobody can kill him, yet this cute shit is getting to him. He takes a deep breath as mixed emotions are getting through his head and he needs to calm down.

Technoblade: hi

Pathetic. Techno facepalms.

Sam: hello Techno :D

Technoblade: I've never... Idk what to do

Sam: oh lol. Don't worry, I'll help you.

Technoblade finds a comfortable position on his bed and sighs, trying to relax himself. He's a little glad that only a few voices are talking to him, they're taking it slow and gave as much space for Techno to think about it. Sam seems a patient person and who the fuck is actually up at 12 a.m. other than them.