Technoblade oneshots

Gold

Requested

Me speedrunning all these fcking oneshots

Narrator: *slightly concerned*

****

Technoblade really loves gold and he would hide them away from anyone's sight, not even Philza knows where he hides them, not even memory boy, nobody, none. But with his love for gold, a few people noticed it and one thought about trading something with him.

Sam and Techno are in the nether. Techno was just mining and looking for netherite until Sam came to him. "Hello, Techno."

"Hallo!"

"I'm here to trade." Wow, getting in business already, take him on a date first Sam.

"I have only about 3 stacks of enderpearls, Sam."

"Oh. I was thinking of something different." Techno squints his eyes and then raises his eyebrow at the Warden.

DOES HE MEAN SEX?!

WHAT THE FUCK VERONICA?!

*TERRIFIED CONFUSED SCREAM*

*CONFUSED FANGIRL SCREAM*

Ahahaha I need therapy

E

Techno clears his throat and blushes at the thought. Of course that's not the shit here! Be professional now Techno! This is business! "So um... What do you want?"

"How much gold for your... Set of armor?"

Techno blinks.

Gold.

Did he say gold?

HE SAID GOLD

GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD GET GOLD

GET GOLD

HE HAS GOLD

E

Techno blinks and puts his pickaxe in his inventory. He checks the durability of his armors and then looks back at Sam. Sam was holding a stack of gold blocks. Techno looks back at his durability and bites the bottom of his lip. He really wants to hold on that shiny gold Sam is holding, he needs that.

"Um... "

Quiet snores can be heard in the cave, gold gliterring like the ocean surface, there laid a piglin hybrid in the middle surrounded by jewelry and blocks of gold. Somehow Foolish stumbled in and found Technoblade's hideout and it's not really that small, it's like a whole fucking city underground and almost the whole bedrock grounds is filled with gold, some are stacking and turning into a mountain.

Foolish looks down at the vulnerable warrior and he takes his cape off around him and puts it on Techno. "Gods of Egypt, you're the scariest hybrid alive." Foolish mumbles.

So anyway, Sam got a better set of armor but he is thinking of returning it to Techno. He just can't find the hybrid.

****

...

Narrator: well?

Me: this is shit.

Narrator: ...

Me: but I like idea- so I'm making another-