Many incidents

Chapter 74

Ashton's POV

After 15 minutes her heart is back to normal and she's calm again.

"Are you ok?" I whispered softly in her ear.

She nodded looking like she was snapping out of her thoughts.

She sat up and looked around the room. Elliot was sitting in the chair next to the bed.

"Your stupid, you know that" she said to Elliot.

"You could've been hurt or killed you realize that"

"I told you not to go with me. Do you have any idea how worried I was that you would get hurt on top of dealing with what was happening"

Elliot looked shocked but also confused.

I'm also a little confused to. He just put her in the hospital after attacking her and she is yelling about how he could have gotten hurt or killed and she was worried.

She confuses the fuck out of me. Why isn't she yelling about the fact he put her in the hospital.

"I wasn't going to just leave you in there with him. I couldn't. What did you expect me to do" Elliot said defending himself.

She would have wanted him to listen to her.

As if reading my mind Emery said.

"Listen to me. I would have wanted you to listen to me Elliot"

"Why are you even yelling at me about this, your in the hospital because of me" he said lowering his voice.

Emery looked taken back. And sat back in her bed. I was now standing on the side of it.

"Because that wasn't your fault" she mumbled louder then I think she intend.

"WHAT?, are you serious. He put his hands on you. He choked you nearly unconscious. How the hell is it not his fault" I said trying not to yell.

"I slammed your head against a window Emery, you fought me defending yourself and I gave you a concussion. You were so scared of me you fell and hit your head on a rock, you couldn't even see, you were turning blue i choked you for so long, how the hell is that not my fault"

My suspensions are confirmed by what he just said. He slammed her head against the window. I swear if I didn't know Emery cares I would lunge myself at him. I'm beginning to get to the point where I don't care.

"Because I ignored you. I pushed you when I didn't know your limits. That was my fault I know ignoring people is disrespectful and rude and I did it anyways"

"That doesn't give me the right to put my hands on you Emery"

"It's enough of a reason"

"Not it's not Emery. There will never be a good enough reason for a guy or anyone else to put his hands on you" I said stepping closer to the bed. 

"I don't need a lecture about violence and shit trust me Ashton"

"You do when it comes to this"

"I shouldn't of put my hands on you. You don't know how bad I feel. You didn't see the look on your face when I walked over to you. You looked at me like I was Cambul Emery. You were terrified of me"

"I know that Elliot. You don't know how much I do"

"Then tell me. Tell me what I should know" he said looking like he was pushing her over her limit.

"No. It's done. It happened already. Leave it in the past"

"No Emery. It's not in the past. Your sitting in a hospital bed from a minor concussion because you were so scared of me" he said whisperer yelling.

"Fine you want to know." She said whisper yelling.

"Yes Emery I do" he said with the same tone.

"The first thing that came to my mind when you hit the seat was when Ashton snapped at me or Dad, or Jace. It took me to the past.  It made me wonder if you would snap at me like that.  It scared the shit out of me. It made me want to hide and cry because I never thought you would do that"

I was taken back by that and so was Elliot by the look on his face. I feel guilty for what I did to her and now I feel like even more of this is my fault. 

"When you wrapped your hands around my neck I felt almost as scared as I did when dad put his hands on me. It made me hate myself for pushing you. It made me feel stupid and scared. I felt fear drown me with your hands Elliot. I was so scared I wanted to die.

When you slammed my head into the the window. I felt like reality had hit me with a baseball  bat in the chest. I felt terrified and like I deserved it. Like I should be hit like that every day of my life. I remember thinking this is my brother doing this to me, hurting me, because I pushed him, I deserve this"

She doesn't deserve it, any of it. And it hurts me that she feels like that.

"When Ashton pulled me out of the car I felt like I was a three being dragged away from an abuse brother by her dad but then I remember all dad wants is to fuck me so I would never be protected like that.

When you continued to try and hit me I prayed Ashton would just let you hit me"

Her words made me want to hold her forever.

"But when Ashton held me I realized I shouldn't have to to deal with as much shit as i do.

And when I saw you walking over to me I felt like it was going to happen again. I had images of you choking me with your hands around my neck, slamming my head into the window playing over and over again in my head  so I panicked because yes Elliot I was terrified by the thought that I might actually deserve it and that scared the shit out of me"

Elliot looked shocked, guilty and hurt. He looked like he was trying to process what she said and to be honest so am I.

"I'm sorry" he said stepping closer to her

"You don't deserve that-"he said trying to grab her hand but she pulled away.

"Don't" she said holding her hand. She looked like she was trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry. I really am"

"I know. Which is why it makes this harder"

She paused for a second thinking about what she was about to do.

"Come here" she said holding her hand out to him.

"What are you doing?" He said taking her hand.

"You need this more then I do" she said said pulling him onto the bed and into a hug.

She had her hands around his waist and his arms were around her shoulders and head gently.

"No I don't. Why are you doing this? I hurt you and your comforting me"

That's when I realized what's happening. This was a hug meant for him not for her.

"Because no matter who hurt her Emery is the kind of person that will allow you to hurt her repeatedly and still want to be there for you just to make sure you don't feel the pain she dose"

After understanding what I said Elliot spoke up.

"Emery, I'm going to say this in a silly way but I'm serious...... you need a therapist" he said pulling away from the hug.

"Shut up and hug me you dickhead" she said pulling him back into a hug Elliot looked beyond grateful for.