Many incidents

Chapter 85

He knows. He knows what he did.

My brother, my dad, Ashton, John, Jace, his friends, the miscarriage, the surgeries, the bullets, I can't do this.

"Emery's breath please"

"Stop telling me to breath, I can't. I'm crying my fucking heart out and you want me to breath. I was fine. I was pretending to be ok and it was almost working. I was fine. I-"

"Emery's you weren't fine, Your hurting because I hurt you-"

"Stop Elliot, Please just stop" I through sobbing and getting out of the car.

I ran upstairs and to Ashton's door almost tripping

I turned the door nob and almost fell through door rushing.

"Emery breath ok, I'm here" Ashton said trying to hold me.

"No, no don't touch me please" I said getting up off the floor after falling.

"Come here talk to me, what happened? Baby please" Ashton said begging.

I can't tell him the pain in my chest is to much.

"Don't say that. Don't call me baby, I'm not a a baby, I'm not your baby, and I shouldn't be fucking crying"

I'm laughing now while crying.

"Are laughing or crying?"

"Both, oh no I'm good I'm good" I said laughing even harder.

"My god. Isn't this funny guys" I said looking around the room I just now realize Alex is here.

"Oh my god Alex. How you been dude. Talk with me what's up?" I said as I completely stopped crying and laughing all together.

"I thought you said she was having an anxiety attack" Ashton said looking at Elliot as they all look at me with confused faces.

"Oh no I was. It's a faze. First I cry like a stupid ass a little, then I pretend to be fine, then I get pushed over the edge and I break down crying, isn't this awesome guys, then I bust out laughing, and then I'm fine again, so you wanna talk now Alex"

"Yeah uh why is our English teacher here. Are you guys a thing?" he said a little confused.

"Oh god Alex your gonna make me go through another faze, god I hate being a girl, no that's my brother Alex fun right"

"Did you give her weed or something Why is she tripping?" Ashton asked looking at Elliot.

"No he didn't give me weed, that's not what he gave me at all, but we're not gonna talk about that, and I'm serious Elliot, but I'm gonna go to my room so that I don't flip again like a female right" I said smiling.

"Uh actually can you sit down for a second and stop with the stupid female shit because your not acting this cause your a girl, your acting like this because of the shit-"

"Don't tell me because of what I'm going through, let me think what I need to think at the moment ok, we can screw with they way I think once I'm sane again ok" I said rubbing my palms all over my neck.

I let go my neck trying to breath and Alex's eyes pop out of his head.

"Shouldn't your neck be fucking healed already, what the fuck happened to you?" Alex said walking over to me.

I back up quickly and nearly trip over the table.

"Nothing Its fine, stupid neck takes for ever to heal" I said walking onto the balcony.

"Bullshit Emery you were fine when I left you. What happened to you? And get your ass in here" Ashton said pulling me into the house.

He pushes me against a wall and moves my hair and nearly wrapping his hands around my neck.