Many incidents

Chapter 98

Emery's POV.

I'm sitting on a table. The same table I was the first time Mason helped me.

"Can you unbutton your shirt once please?" He asked pulling out stuff.

I unbutton my shirt once and pull it off my shoulder away from my neck.

"Thanks" was all he said standing in front of me now.

I sighed hating myself right now.

Mason just killed someone because I was causing a problem again.

That will stay with him. Forever. He'll close his eyes and see it. He'll hear it. He'll hate himself.

"Don't blame yourself" he said pouring rubbing alcohol on my neck.

I grip the table and tighten my jaw to stop myself from screaming.

"You killed someone because of me" I said quietly.

"It's wasn't because of you it was for you. He was forcing himself on you"

"Stop. Just stop please. Don't say that. Just don't. I don't need to add another person to list. That will stay with you forever. Your going to hate yourself because of me" I said wanting to scream.

I feel so overwhelmed I want to scream. To break something. To drink. That's what I want.

"I'm sorry"

"Do not apologize. I mean it. You did nothing wrong. Not one thing" I said firmly.

"Your hyperventilating" he said putting a bandage on my neck.

"I know" I said looking at the bottle of alcohol by the sink.

Just pour it out. Pour it out. Don't. You promised Elliot. Don't do it. I keep thinking to myself.

I got up and walked to the sink picking up the bottle.

Just touching the bottle brings back memories. I crave the feeling of being so intoxicated that I forget everything. I crave the burning down my throat. I want it to stop. I want to drink and forget everything but I can't.

I take off the lid pouring it down the sink and placing it on the counter.

I hate myself for doing that. But I'm proud to.

I throw the bottle away so that I don't have to look at it and then run the water trying to wash away the smell.

I lean on the counter trying not to scream.

"Why didn't you just drink it?" Mason asked watching me.

I haven't told him.

"I'm an alcoholic" I said looking at him.

He didn't say anything. No one did.

I ran my hands through my hair trying to calm myself down only to feeling more uneasy.

"Emery"

"Yeah" i replied.

"Your chest" he said pointing to it.

I look down and see blood through my shirt from where Garry bit me.

I cross my arm over my chest and to my shoulder breathing in deeply from the pain.

"Let me see. I won't hurt you"

"Don't tell me that" I said trying to calm down.

I feel myself getting to the point where I might snap. And I'm trying not to.