Ashaangi in my eyes

25. Ready for the next big step💏

Hiyaa!!! First of all, a million thanks to all the amazing readers out there. This story has reached one hundred thousand reads! I honestly did not expect such a reach, thank you all again for the support and response! xoxo

Warning about the first part of the story: Assault on women in any form is a crime but awareness is important to fight against it. I used to volunteer at a local victim support centre and some of their post traumatic stress disorder symptoms can affect you really bad. I have personally been traumatised by just listening to their anxiety issues and nightmares. My point is that you have to meet a survivor to know what it takes to live beyond that sort of a tragic incident. They are truly fighters. I know rape is a sensitive topic to many, just like talking about your period is considered a taboo in some parts of the world, but there is nothing to be ashamed of it, it happens not out of choice. I could easily avoid the topic but I wanted to give a closure to that tiny part of the aforementioned incident at the start of the story(It is fiction so I hope you all can take the story in stride). There is definitely nothing in detail about it but an instance about the sleep problems and nightmares that someone suffers from after a distressing incident. I have tried my best to make it very short and subtle. Sorry if anyone finds it an irrelevant topic, please skip it if you aren't up for it. Entirely up to you.

Sivaangi woke up to find Ashwin missing. She looked at the phone and saw that it was half past two in the night. She heard someone wailing and scurried out of the bed. She followed the sound and found Ashwin in Tanu's room, crouched next to Tanu on the floor, who looked very distressed. When he noticed Sivaangi at the door, he signalled for her to stay put.

Sivaangi was taken aback by the injuries on Tanu's arms and the state of her rumpled, torn clothes. It looked like scratches on her skin. Ashwin helped her calm down, it looked like he had already given her some prescribed meds, it must have been some sort of sedatives because she looked too calm for someone who has just been through this ordeal. She drifted to a slumber after a while, and Ashwin then nodded at Sivaangi to come in.

S: Ashwin, enna aachu? Ennaku romba bayama iruku.

A: Not now, stay strong. Come help me.

She helped him clean Tanu's wounds, straightening her dishevelled clothes, then Ashwin lifted Tanu to the bed. They sat down on the couch not wanting to leave her alone and Sivaangi held Ashwin's hands. Sivaangi was too shocked to speak and Ashwin was too quiet for a bit.

A: So this is exactly what happened in the hotel suite that night. Apparently, she has these recurrent nightmares and she never stays alone unless there is no option. Martin accompanies her most of the time. If not, her friends Shravan or Susie stays with her. That night at the hotel, I got a call from Martin after Shravan missed his flight. He sounded really worried and helpless, when I went to check on her, she did not answer the door. Martin got the management to open the door for me and she was in the same state, I found her under the shower trying to rub off some invisible marks wherein she was basically inflicting injuries on her body.

I later found out from Martin that she often wakes up in a cold sweat, tensed and crying. She has these night terrors about the ghosts of the past imagining all the hands touching her and hurting her, she tries to block out the painful thoughts by self harm.

Sivaangi got teary and upset with herself for questioning Tanu on the day of her engagement. It must have been an unwanted reminder of a sad past.

S: I am sorry.

A: Nee yen sorry sollara ma?

S: For mistaking you that day. And I questioned Tanu chechi about this too. She must have felt horrible