Broken But Beautiful (SnapeXReader) COMPLETE

45

Tomorrow we return to Hogwarts. I am nervous about it because I need to talk to Severus. How is he going to react? Is he going to be angry? Will he never talk to me again? I hope that doesn't happen.

I turned over in bed and took a deep breath. The moon light filtered through the sheer curtains. A slight breeze rustled the curtains from the window being open. It was such a calm night. It was really nice. I felt my eyelids get heavy. Soon I was enveloped in darkness.

I opened my eyes. It was dark. The only light came from a single lamp post. The, the lamp post. Panic filled me. My breathing quickened. How the hell am I back here? I looked around me at the swings and the play structure.

"Back for more?" I jumped and spun around. Blond hair boy was standing there. A farel smile playing on his lips.

"Stay away." I said, My voice shaking. The boy cocked his head.

"Oh but I wanna play." I backed away from him but I tripped on something. I fell to the ground on my back. I squinted my eyes shut as he leaned over me. I felt someone squeezed my breast.

I jolted awake and sat up. My breathing was ragged. I looked around the room. Everything was normal. It was calm. The moonlight was still pouring into the room, illuminating it. Just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream. Tears rolled down my cheek. I tried to slow my breathing but it didn't work. I know what I need to do. I threw the covers off me and got out of bed. I sped walked over to my trunk and frantically searched for my special bag. When I found it I sat down at the end of the bed on the floor. My back against it. I opened my bag and got my stuff out.

I cut and cut. I fucking hate myself. Why can't I just get over it? I haven't seen him in so long so why is it still bothering me? I bet he is happy. He has friends. He is living his best fucking life and I am sitting here, blood dripping from my wrist. Tears were still falling. They were hitting the wooden floor in dark splotches.

I should just die. I have no purpose being here. What is the fucking point? 

The door to my room opened. Draco popped his head in. I pulled my sleeve down as fast as I could and shoved the bag under the bed. Draco quickly came into the room, shutting the door behind him. He quickly walked to me. He dropped down in front of me.

"What happened?" He asked quietly. I refused to meet his eyes. I was too ashamed. "Y/N." He said.

 I shook my head. "Go back to your room." I said quietly.

"No. What were you doing?" I shifted my gaze to his face. He looked so worried and scared. I was such a monster. People should be afraid of me.

"I was just sitting here." I said. I could tell my voice sounded as numb as I felt. It had no fluctuation in it.

"You and I both know that, that's not true. Please Y/N, let me help you." He begged.

"You can't. Just go back to your room. I will be fine." 

He gently cupped both my cheeks with his hands. "You are not fine and you won't be. You doing that is not "fine."

"I promise I will."

"I don't believe you." I didn't say anything. We were silent for a while. "I am staying with you tonight." He declared.

"You don't have to-"

"I want to." A tear fell down my face and Draco wiped it away with his thumb. He removed his hands from my face and stood up. He extended a hand to me. I took it and stood up. Draco pulled me into a hug. He buried his face in the crook of my neck. "You are always there for me and I want to be here for you." I hugged him back.

He let go and grabbed my hand. He led me over to the side of the bed and held back the covers for me. I laid down. "Is it ok if I sleep on here with you?" He asked. I nodded. He walked over to the other side of the bed.

We laid facing each other. I felt scared of having a dream like that again.

"Draco?" I whispered.

"Hm?"

"Could you hold my hand?" He moved his hand so it was between our heads. I clasped mine with his. It felt good to touch someone.

I hope Draco doesn't think that I like him now. I mean, I do. But, I love Severus. I need him. I need Draco too but, in a different way. I need him as a friend. Someone who can help me like this.

My eyes felt heavy. Soon, I couldn't hold them open anymore.

I woke up to someone knocking on the door. Draco woke as well. We got out of bed. Draco opened the door. I couldn't see who it was.

"Oh Draco! I wasn't expecting you to be in here so early," It was Mrs. Malfoy. "Anyways, you both need to get ready the train leaves in an hour and a half."

"Alright. Thanks." Draco shut the door and walked over to me. He hugged me.

When he pulled away he grabbed my hands. "I should have thought of this last night but, do you need any bandages or anything? Is your arm ok?"

"Yeah. it's fine."

"Are you sure because we go-"

"It's fine Draco. Thank you. For last night. I need that." 

He gave me a small smile. "It was no problem. Are you ok being in here alone? Do you want me to stay while you pack?" I shook my head.

"No. I will be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. Well I will be next door if you need me." He said. I gave him a small smile.

"Thank you." Draco let go of my hands and left my room.

I lifted my sleeve to access the damage I had done. 

I went around the room and gathered everything into my trunk. Draco insisted on carrying my trunk down stairs for me. His father was waiting at the front door for us. I held onto my trunk with one hand and grabbed Mr. Malfoy's hand with the other. I was ready to see Severus.