I Choose You

Fifty-Two

Mare

I slam my bedroom door shut, making the objects and furniture quake. My breathing is hardly considered breathing, it's closer to hyperventilating. I can't take a full breath in, and my exhales are shaky like a ship in testy water.

I pace back and forth on the open floor between the desk and the vanity. Volo knows, the whole room filled with the High Houses knows, and eventually, everyone in the castle will know, and knowing rumors, the whole kingdom will know, then it will trickle to the other nations.

I didn't want it to come out this way, I wanted people to know the traditional way. Maven would announce it during one of his meetings with Norta. I would be by his side. Cheers would erupt and Maven would tackle me with love and kisses.

But life isn't traditional.

I stop pacing and kick off my high-heeled shoes. I never liked high heels, they make my ankles cramp and my toes itch. I walk over to my side of the bed and sit on it abruptly, causing the duvet cover to fly up like a bubble.

I look down at my stomach, but not just a usual glance, a studying look. I pull the top of my dress in so I can fully examine it, and I see that I am showing. A small little bump shows, it's hardly the size to be noticed from a distance, but if you really look hard, it's there.

Did the man who threatened me know I was pregnant? Could he tell? Is that why he said what he said?

I snap out of it, now isn't the time for my mind to wander into the pit. I look back down, fear for the unborn, small, defenseless little thing growing in me. Is life going to be like this from now on? Will I have to be careful no matter what I do with my child?

Then I remember, I don't even know who the father of this baby is. What if the baby is Cal's and it's obvious that it is? What will happen to me and Maven? Will I still be Queen?

I snap out of it again, but Maven walks in the room really snapped me out of the ditch my mind was going in.

"Mare," He says with a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry about what I said at the meeting, I didn't mean to spill the beans."

I exhale. "It's fine, Mavey, I really am not mad at you, I'm madder at Volo than anything."

He takes off his black overcoat and tosses it next to my shoes, then sits down next to me. He puts a hand on my stomach and around my shoulder, pulling me into his embrace. I weakly fall into him.

"We have to tell them that this is true," He whispers, wishing he didn't have to say it like this.

I breathe deeply, pushing the anxiety back into the depths.

"But we don't know who the father is," My words shake.

"I know, but-,"

"Maven," I say firmly, standing up from the bed, breaking our embrace. "I have to know."

He looks at me dumbfounded.

"I don't care how, but I have to know," I say, meaning every word I say. "Whatever it takes."

"Whatever it takes?" Maven asks me, staying seated.

"Yes," I nod.

He closes his eyes and sighs deeply. "Alright, I have one idea," He stands up. "I haven't told you this or told any of the kingdoms this."

I look at him with hard eyes, listening to whatever he has to say.

"My mother had a twin sister, Elena. When she wasn't chosen to be Queen, she went mad, she tried everything in her power to make herself the most powerful person Norta had ever seen, but her magic went haywire, and she is insane now. I can't really describe how her powers work."