Dreamcatcher Imagines

𝘀𝗶𝘆𝗲𝗼𝗻 | love is blind

Reader Is: Younger Eighth Member
Categories: Angst, Fluff
Summary: Siyeon discovers why the reader has been avoiding her.

♡

It wasn't the fact that you were in love that was the problem. You were good at hiding when you loved someone – after all, you had been doing it since middle school. No, the fact that you were in love was not the problem at all. The problem was that you were running out of excuses and out of time in which you could hide your feelings – and, worst of all, she was starting to notice.

She was Lee Siyeon, the black-haired, brown-eyed beauty you were lucky enough to call your roommate and girl group member. You were also unlucky enough to be in love with her. You considered it unlucky because, well, you could be in love with her all you wanted, but you couldn't do a single thing about it.

Sure, there were advantages of you loving her. Out of all the members, she was one of the most physically affectionate, and you got all the hugs you wanted with or without asking for them. But just as there were pros, there were cons, as well, like the fact that you blushed fiercely any time she touched you, which was becoming more and more frequent. If she noticed your reaction to her affection, it must have only fueled her, because she continued doing exactly what she had been doing for years.

The problems with you loving Siyeon, actually, extended endlessly. Every day, you found something to add to your mental list of disadvantages to the crush. She was always saying things that you thought about for days on end afterwards. "I think we should get matching pajamas and wear them together in a V-Live." "That top they put you in for the last special clip was something else. You looked even more amazing than usual." "There's a new restaurant a block away, let's go check it out right now, just us two! Come on, put your notebook down, hurry up!"

As of late, however, Siyeon's statements had turned into questions, and they left you wondering even more. "Do you still want to go on an ice cream date with me?" "You don't say 'I love you' after you say goodnight anymore, did I do something wrong?" "Are you mad at me?"

Her questions had started when it got worse – your crush on her. You desperately wanted to blame her, but in reality, you knew that you were the only one with a problem. All Siyeon had done was kiss JiU on the cheek for a split second one day at practice for no reason. It had made you so jealous that you realized instantly – you needed to stop loving her.

So you made it your mission to block your feelings in any way you could think of: avoiding her whenever you could, stiffening your body when she hugged you, not talking about your personal life, and staying out of your shared room as much as you could. It hurt, at first, to do – in fact, it hurt more than anything you had ever experienced before. But after a week or so, it got better – well, you got numb, which, to you, was just as good. Anything that could help you avoid your feelings was a welcome change.

However, Siyeon's questions, accompanied by the fact that she simply observed you quietly with a faraway, sad look now; had tipped you off to the notion that perhaps Siyeon had finally begun to notice that you were consciously shutting her out. That was why you were hardly surprised when she walked into your room and decided to confront you.

"Okay, what's going on?" Siyeon asked as soon as the door had slammed closed behind her.

"What do you mean?" you asked, looking up from your phone from where you were sitting on the edge of your bed.

"You know what I mean." You did, in fact, know exactly what she meant, but there was no way you could tell her why you made the choices that you did. You could never tell her that you loved her, that she meant more to you than anyone else in the world, and that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. That was a secret you would have to take to the grave after you married some random man that you didn't actually care for so that the world would never know that you loved women – specifically, one named Lee Siyeon.