Dreamcatcher Imagines

𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗻𝗴 | yours always

Reader Is: Neutral Age (Group Not Mentioned)
Categories: Angst
Summary: The reader receives an explanatory letter from Dong/Handong after their breakup.

♡

Two weeks.

That was how long it had been since Han Dong left before you mustered up the strength to open the letter that she mailed to you.

It was an apology that she didn't have the heart to deliver aloud, you already knew. You knew her very well. Too well to forget her easily, unfortunately.

At least, you had thought that you did. But when she stood outside your door with red eyes and hands shoved deep into the pockets of her tweed coat, telling you that she didn't have the heart to continue on with your relationship, you felt as though you didn't know her at all – like maybe, you never had at all.

You took a heavy seat at your dining table as you slipped a finger underneath the wax seal of the envelope. It hurt that she had put so much effort into the gesture for you, but you wouldn't have expected anything less from her.

The flowers that you had gotten to surprise her with on that godforsaken day still bloomed maddeningly in the middle of the table. Their beautiful petals were beginning to fall, one by one, but when you shook the oaken surface a little while resting your arms on it, a flurry of them settled to the surface.

With a deep sigh, you gave them one last lingering glance of irritation before your eyes fell on the opening of the letter.

Angel,

Why had she started it like that? Reading the beloved nickname hurt so badly that you almost set the note down then and there, but you forced yourself to continue.

When we first met, I felt so lucky. There was always someone waiting for me, patiently sitting in the audience to watch me sing. Before you told me so, I would always wonder to myself and hope that you walked through those doors every day just to see me.

Of course, you did from day one. The beautiful and strikingly talented woman was in fact the only reason that you continuously returned to the local jazz bar.

Then you did, you told me, and I thought that I couldn't be any happier. I had never before been so entranced by someone, so utterly swept off my feet.

I was so wrong: it got better.

On our first date, I felt even happier.

Then on the next one, happier still; the one after, even more. I only got happier as time wore on.

So did you, until the day that she left, truly. You had never felt more whole or joyful in your life.

Our wonderful memories are so precious to me, all of them. A few of them are coming to my mind as I write this:

The night that we spent by the sea, in that cute little cottage. I still remember enjoying the breeze while we watched the sunset from the window.

You did, too. It was the refreshing break from work that you needed and the inspiration that she sought for songwriting. Back then, she only had a couple of gigs per week. You had supported her financially in full, but you never minded. Treating her was your favorite pastime.

When we danced outside after one of our picnics. I'm going to miss those...but I'll never forget the way that the starlight shone on your face. I felt like I could see the whole galaxy in your eyes.

You already missed those, which had become a regular occurrence. As the final days of the month drew to a close, you were painfully aware that it was the first one since you had started dating in which you wouldn't enjoy one together.

And my favorite, watching New Year fireworks together for the first time. It was so soon after we met, yet it already represented perfectly the way that my heart felt every time I saw you. I don't think that feeling ever went away.

You didn't know that was her favorite memory. It made your heart ache as you thought back to it.

I hold each one tighter than you'll ever know. The most recent ones, I made knowing that they would be the last. I hope you'll understand that if I seemed a little sentimental, it's because I couldn't hide my sadness very well.

That was true. She had seemed vaguely distant, even as she held your hand.

I was happy until something came up for me, something that I still don't have the heart to tell you in person.

I feel so selfish. I'm sorry. I can't believe I've gotten this far in this letter without apologizing, but I'm doing it now, a million times over in my head: I am so sorry.

It would be wrong for me to ask something so big of you, so that's why I ended things.

Putting that onto paper hurts – like I am telling myself that I really went through with it. Please forgive any tear marks...

Anyway, I'm leaving next week. I signed a contract with an agency, I'm going to sing professionally. It was such a sudden offer, and I was a little blindsided by my own excitement that I underestimated how far away I would have to be. I had originally thought that I could come back to visit, since it would be too selfish of me to ask you to move.

But with my schedule, it just won't be possible.

If I could have backed out, I would have. But I had already signed it all, and I had no choice.

I didn't want to tell you all this face-to-face. I feel awful that I only thought of myself. I never thought that I would be the one to hurt you like this.

I always thought that we would walk this journey together. You were my biggest cheerleader, always supporting me emotionally and financially, which is why I've enclosed a check with this letter. I hope that you don't take it the wrong way, I just feel that it's the least I can do to give you what I now can.

Even though I have the means to do so because I signed the contract, I wish I had earned it by working harder, not by leaving you.

I don't want to do any of this without you, but I don't have a choice.

I hope that you can find happiness again soon. I know that we were happy together...weren't we? I hope that you were always as happy as I was.

Most of all, I hope that someday, our paths cross again. I'll always follow the road that I believe leads to you. Even if it seems long and winding right now, I hope that I'll see you at the end of it.

I'll understand if you don't want to see me. Perhaps we will end just as we met, one of us looking from afar...

I'm sorry.

I love you.

I may be Handong to the world now, but I would rather be—

Yours Always,

Dongie.