Shattered | Hermione x Draco

Down On My Knees

Surrender to the Dark Lord. How do I even do that? Just ask between torture curses? Hey, Voldemort, I would rather join you and your little minions instead of dying. It feels like selling my soul to the devil, which I probably am. What do I have to lose? Does he need to see some kind of resume stating all the sneaky things I have done with Harry and Ron.

Remember that time you wanted the Philosopher's Stone? Where I helped solve the problems for Harry, so he could prevent you from getting it and delaying your plan to return. Now I want to join you. Or the moment the Chamber of Secrets was opened and I just figured out the thing Harry could hear in the pipes was a Basilisk and he killed that thing because I solved it for him.

My brain could be an asset, but how could I ever be as cruel and cold as them? I am a Gryffindor, I care about people, I would never be able to hurt anyone.

Tears roll down my cheeks, but I ignore them and stare into the darkness. I don't want to die and I don't want to join him. How would I look Harry in the eye and secretly be a part of an army of Death Eaters? They want to kill him. Ron is my best friend, Ginny and all their brothers and parents, I would betray everyone. I would even be against my own people, the Muggleborns, I would literally fight against them. My parents! What if I make a mistake and they take it out on them, I would not be able to live with myself.

What if I try to survive long enough so I can go back to school and when nobody's looking, I will just throw myself off the Astronomy Tower, or take poison?

I can't win either way. Or I die, and they will kill people I love. Or I live and they kill people I love and I kill myself. The only thing I can do is live and try to find a way to save people along the way.

I close my eyes and imagine my body, try to find some sort of piece inside of me so I can focus on it and give my magic a chance to heal me. Everything is cold around me, but deep inside me is a magical core, I can visualize it, feel it. It is so white, it looks blue and it is beautiful. It flickers and small wisps of it fly around it, curling and dancing as if there is music I can't hear and the magic reacts to it. I visualize it spreading through my body, letting the wisps dance around my arms, stomach and legs, allowing it to heal every bruise and cut it finds. A warmth spreads through my body, it is like a cold fire. Blazing white, but it listens to me, lets me guide it.

Eventually I fall asleep, for the first time since I have been in this cage, with a warm feeling. Like I have a blanket over my body, keeping me warm and safe.

I dream of Harry and Ron, it starts as a memory.

They have a stupid idea, as always and they turn to me over breakfast to help them succeed. They beg me, and of course I relent, without me they would be killed or worse, expelled! I can't let that happen to my friends, I could never say no to them.

It is late at night and we are about to leave. Harry has the invisibility cloak, I know where the library isby heart and will guide us to the Restricted Section. We need to find a special kind of book, and it is really important. Ron helps us with searching for it. Just before we want to leave, someone is walking down from the boys dorm room. I throw the cloak over the boys and start rumbling through my bag.

"Hey Hermione, what are you doing?" Neville asks.

I look up. "I need to slip out for a moment," I shrug if you must lie, always use a bit of the truth.

"But it's past curfew? What do you need?" he asks and he steps towards me.

I see him grab onto his wand in the pocket of his pajamas. "Just need to grab a book for homework. It will be just a few minutes and I have done it before," I say with a slight smile.