𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦; 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.
Seonghwa hides the hell that he goes through.
Hongjoong buries his feelings of anxiety.
Two best friends who love each other but are too weighed down by the past, and th...
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™️joonglet: I'm so tired now a days. You know that one person in your life that brings so much comfort, warmth, and happiness in your life, but they also bring so much pain too. At the same time, you are willing to bury the pain you feel to be around that person? That person is a dream that you never want to leave. But, that person is also a nightmare you so desperately want to wake up from.
"I'll talk to you later!" Turned into not talking for two days.
Two days turned into a week.
Then two weeks.
---
Hongjoong clicked the power off button on his phone, threw his phone dejectedly on his bed and shut his eyes. He rarely opened up on social media. He rarely opened up about his feelings in general. Not even to Seonghwa whom he's known for half his life. When it came to his slumps where he shut everyone out, there was nobody that would be let in.
At that moment, his members could be calling about an interview rehearsal or a dance practice they need him at, but Hongjoong wouldn't know. Frankly, he didn't care. This was the time when his hair would fall out. The time dark circles would form under his eyes because he refused to lie down. This was the time where he would look in the mirror and feel utterly disgusted by what he sees.
Sure he may get compliments from his family, his members, and most important to him, Seonghwa, but those compliments weren't enough to keep that demon inside his head from whispering malicious words. it drove him insane.
You did that wrong.
A smile hides a lot of pain Hongjoong.
You look a mess.
Do you actually think these fans care about you?
Everyone will leave you.
Seonghwa will leave you when he finds out.
Over and over these words would play constantly in his mind. Hongjoong was sure he lost a year off his life every time he fell into this void of anxiety.
Slowly, his eyes opened, quickly adjusting to the light. A determined look came about his face as he thought:
Don't be so selfish, Hongjoong. There are many people who care about me. I can't be so selfish.
