Because You're My First Love // seongjoong

𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘴𝘬

Sensitive content: Physical abuse warning

"Seonghwa."

"Seo-Seowon?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Why are you...you calling me? Is something wrong-"

"Don't you play innocent with me, whore. Come home. Right. Now."

"I don't want t-to, Seowon."

"And why is that?"

"Because I'm scared...I'm scared you'll, you'll hit me again."

"You'll be terrified if you don't come home right now. I know you're with that fucking guy, Seonghwa. Do you think I'm stupid or something! Huh!"

"I'll, I'll go. I'm coming, Seowon. Don't be mad at me, p-please! Please, don't hit me again."

---

Seonghwa

Walking back to this painfully familiar road makes my feet cramp as if they, too know, the danger ahead. The streetlights, the houses along the street, that small convenience store all brought me happiness once upon a time but, now they don't fail to make my heart ache with anxiety.

I realized that I was leaning on Hongjoong. Way too much.

Was I only using him to run away from my problems?

Whatever it was, it made me feel empty inside whenever I was with him, yet it brought me so much joy. Every moment I was in his arms, laughing, talking about all the trivial things, I noticed that none of it felt right.

It could have been how troublesome we are. Perhaps we aren't even supposed to be together.

Anyways, I can't help but laugh bitterly at the thought of us having this ill-fated relationship in every other universe.

Walking up to this house I used to call home now seems like a child's worst fear. Where people see a lovely home with a loving couple, I see an abandoned castle. In the highest window, there's a prince that is always crying. So even in the brightest of days and the darkest of nights.

His night in shining armor stands helplessly below, trying to get the prince to jump into his arms, but every time the prince goes to jump, he gets yanked back by all his fear.

I guess I'm that prince now.

And Hongjoong is my savior.

Only, he can't save me.

---

Seonghwa's feet were weak when he stepped to the front door. Only when his mind settled onto Hongjoong, tears fell heavily on his shirt.

Deep breaths, Seonghwa

He told himself as a foolish way to calm down. Deep down, though, Seonghwa knew that there would be no point in using 'deep breaths' after he opened that door. From now on, his breathing would be shallow, and he'd walk around like a shadow, afraid of being noticed.