Because You're My First Love // seongjoong

♡♡

Hongjoong stared blankly at his phone waiting until Ji-Hoon texted him back. He didn't and it pissed Hongjoong off more than he wanted to admit. It seemed as if now that the two were in highschool, one had the idea that they were better than the other. 

So, Hongjoong angrily stuffed his phone in his pocket, accepting his defeat. When he started to blindly walk to an unknown destination he ran straight into another person. Books slammed to the ground and stares were warranted from passerby's in the hallway. Hongjoong groaned, thinking that his day couldn't get any worse when he heard the faint mumbles of a voice familiar to him.

He looked down and saw his classmate from earlier, Seonghwa, with his hand palming his forehead where a knot would start to form. He witnessed as Seonghwa's eyes started to water from the small impact and how his breaths became a tad bit shallow. Becoming worried of this, Hongjoong started to collect the fallen books, panicked apologies flying straight out his mouth.

"Please watch where you're going," Seonghwa mumbled with pout a forming on his lips, "Could have given me a concussion or somethin'.."

Hongjoong tried to bite back a fit of laughter but failed and ultimately ended up laughing next to Seonghwa who looked at him with confusion.

Composing himself and speaking through chuckles Hongjoong sighed, "I'm not sure if that impact was enough to give you a concussion. I am sorry though." He stopped laughing and an apologetic look came across his face instead, "I really wasn't watching where I was going." 

Seonghwa nodded, forgiving Hongjoong. As the two were picking up the remaining books, their hands briefly met and they froze. Seonghwa's face turned red. Hongjoong noticed this and stored it as a mental note. He also noticed the way his heart started beating faster, irregular.

He hadn't felt like this in a long time. The rhythm of his heart was rocky. It was different from when he confessed to Ji-Hoon. This felt life threatening to him and for a moment, Hongjoong wondered if he were having a heart attack right there!

"Do you wanna maybe... grab something to eat with me?"

Seonghwa's head propped up and he pointed at himself, "Me? You want to go out with me?"

"Not like that. You know... since it is lunch time. I was waiting for someone but it looks like they won't make it." The last part he said with a bit of harshness in his tone that Seonghwa picked up and slightly deflated at it.

"Well if it isn't too much, then I'd like that."

---

The two settled on a library with a nice little food court that Seonghwa had suggested. After the two found a seat and grabbed lunch, they began to break out of their awkwardness. 

Seonghwa talked about the movies and books he'd liked such as Twilight, which Hongjoong teased him on, and the How To Train Your Dragon series. Hongjoong found that cute since there weren't many high-schoolers that kept up with childish things like that.

Hongjoong noticed that whenever Seonghwa ranted about things he loved, his eyes would go big and there'd be an innocent shine in his eyes. He noticed that whenever there was a loud noise no matter big or small, Seonghwa would flinch ever so slightly in surprise. Hongjoong noticed that whenever he stared deep into Seonghwa's eyes, that he would look away, his ears turning pink, flustered by the eye contact. Hongjoong noticed that Seonghwa wouldn't eat until Hongjoong took his first bite.

Things like these, Hongjoong admired. He adored Seonghwa's childlike innocence.

Hongjoong also noticed that Seonghwa had a temper and an attitude at times. It wasn't so often but every time it came up, Hongjoong would smile.

---

Seonghwa enjoyed Hongjoong's company. As they sat and talked, eating their sandwiches and drinking their fruit juices, it just felt natural to Seonghwa. It was as if he was meeting up with an old friend of his. 

Seonghwa appreciated Hongjoong's more mature manner. It was comforting to him in the nicest way possible. 

Seonghwa also took note of some things about his classmate.

He noticed the way Hongjoong would cover his mouth when he laughed.

He noticed the way Hongjoong would stare off into space sometimes when he was talking, finding it hilarious for some reason.

He noticed the way Hongjoong listened to every silly word that came out of his mouth. He really listened.

And Seonghwa didn't fail to notice how Hongjoong would always have his eyes on him. Those eyes shone with hidden admiration that Seonghwa couldn't see.

Seonghwa really appreciated that hour he spent with Hongjoong so when it ended abruptly, he became empty inside.

Hongjoong's phone rang and he politely apologized and excused himself from the table. Seonghwa found his neck turning towards the direction where Hongjoong left and let out a sigh, melting into his hands.

---

HJ: So now you want to call me huh. Where were you?

JH: I was with Seowon and the others. I'm sorry. My phone was on silent this whole time-

HJ: Ji-Hoon. I'm honestly getting so tired of this. It's borderline scaring me into thinking some less than great things, you know. 

JH: Hongjoong-

HJ: I never questioned you and I'm not now. I always let you hang out with your friends even though it bothered me that you made more time for them than me. Who, in case you forgot, is your boyfriend.

JH: When you put it that way, it makes me sound like a jerk. When are you free.

Hongjoong glances back to the table where Seonghwa is sitting and smiles slightly.

HJ: After school

---

When school ended, Hongjoong and Ji-Hoon met up with, of course, Seowon in toe.

Hongjoong let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed at his temples. "Seowon, I have to talk to Ji-Hoon for second... so if you don't mind us."

Seowon eyes the two of them but says nothing about it. "Sure. Ji-Hoon make sure to call me when you're done. My grandma fell down the stairs again and lord knows I can't handle that alone."

Ji-Hoon laughs and nods in response. His face becomes more sullen when it's just he and Hongjoong.

"I can explain myself if you allow me to?"

Hongjoong shakes his head. "I don't need an explanation. I just need you to treat me like I exist."

The two exchange hugs and Ji-Hoon mumbles apologetically in Hongjoong's ear.

However, Hongjoong's mind is somewhere else. He remembers Seonghwa. He tries to ignore it, push those thoughts away but the more he resists the more that feeling takes over. Soon it feels as if he is hugging a stranger. 

Ji-Hoon is confused when Hongjoong pries himself away from the hug, muttering that he needs to go urgently.

Once Hongjoong is far enough away from the school, he starts to question what emotions are circling inside him and why they are even there in the first place.

All of a sudden he feels something collide with him, and again a whimper is heard.

Hongjoong's breath catches.

"Seonghwa?"

"Hongjoong!"