𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦; 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.
Seonghwa hides the hell that he goes through.
Hongjoong buries his feelings of anxiety.
Two best friends who love each other but are too weighed down by the past, and th...
I tried to shrug off this feeling of regret but it just kept coming back to torment me. I scoffed, laughing bitterly despite myself. How can I be a leader of my group, of these people that look up to me when I'm drowning in self-hatred and anxiety?
It feels as if someone is watching over my shoulder taunting me with all the times I fucked up in life. Should I just die? Should I put a smile on my face and step on the stage saying how much I love my fans when I'm not even an inch close to forgiving myself?
I was sitting on the couch staring blankly at the wall. My thoughts wandered back to Seonghwa. To all the times we were happy, or at least, the times I faked it. It was bittersweet though, knowing how I only truly smiled in front of him. This beautiful, amazing person I had as a friend. A companion. And I fucked it all up. I fucked over myself, Seonghwa, and my chance with him all because of that asshole, Seowon.
My phone buzzed in the distance pulling me out of my trance. It took a lot of energy to move my hand one inch away from my body. How I pity myself. My eyes squinted and stung since my phone was so bright and I was sitting in complete darkness. The notification was from Instagram. At first, I turned off my phone. I don't want to see anything from the real world. However, the hairs on my neck stood and the feelings of goosebumps annoyed me.
When I realized it was a post from Seonghwa I had mixed feelings. Should I look? Should I not? I bit my lip and my head started to hurt but I looked at it nonetheless.
Berryseonghwa
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Berryseonghwa: Looking at the bridge from this angle, it doesn't seem so scary or tall. I had a dream of me falling. It wasn't scary, and I wasn't afraid but I felt free. I felt like I was flying. I had a chance at freedom. The day is so beautiful right guys? The water is so cool under my feet. The waves are crashing, loud. I've been wondering lately if you can find anything here after it has fallen in the water. It's almost Christmas and the new year. Will I get to see the snow... I wish I could have done more this year. For all of you, I wish you a happy new year and a great, happy Christmas.
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Yeonyjun: This feels... odly cold and scary. I hope you're doing well our star :(
