Only my beginning: Natasha Romanoff x fem reader

Stay Friends

Y/N POV:

Wanda was a mess for days. She just sat on her bed, staring at the wall, crying silently over the loss of her person. Pietro had been many things to different people, but to Wanda it was simple, he was her twin. Vision and I took turns rotating spending time with her, getting her to eat and drink a little, enough to keep her alive. The first night I slept in Wanda's armchair, not wanting to leave her alone while Vision was with Tony debriefing. The next day, when Vision had relieved me, I went to visit Natasha. When she opened her door, I could tell she was relieved to see me, but this was then replaced with frustration.

"Where were you?" She cried out, her eyes filling with hurt and loneliness.

"I was with Wanda, Natasha. You knew this." I answer, confused at her reaction. Natasha was so often a rational person, but she seemed different recently.

"You promised! You promised you'd come back but you didn't!"

I scoffed, "Her brother died Nat! I think that trumps a stab in the leg."

She looked taken aback when I called her Nat, not used to hearing that from me. I turned away, shocked at her insensitiveness to my best friend until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I span around and met her green eyes once more, but this time they were filled with guilt and sadness.

"I'm sorry Y/N, you are so right. I'm glad Wanda has you, she has been through hell and back. I guess I just needed you as well." She shrugged, turning back to hobble back to her bed, but seeing this I ran forward and helped her.

"You will always have me Natasha," I declared softly, plumping up her pillows behind her. I sat down next to her, smoothing the bedsheets down to avoid her eyes that were burning a hole in my head. Looking around her room, I saw the copy of Murder on the Orient Express that I had given her, and since she had followed my eye-line, Natasha saw it and exclaimed;

"Oh it was so good!"

I turned back around to her eagerly and met her excited eyes and squealed back. "You liked it?!"

"Loved. It." She declared, putting emphasis on each word.

The next hour went by quickly, talking about the books and other things, letting the time fly by in our little heaven of privacy. Natasha was a very good conversationalist, contrary to popular belief as she often only gives short answers to anyone else, but with me, she felt free to speak as much as she wanted to. The gentle chime of her clock signalled my time to leave and rejoin Wanda, but this time I felt fine leaving Natasha. We had spent a good time with each other, and I was confident she was on the mend. Before leaving, I helped her sit up more so she could watch TV, and I gave her one last clean of her graze on her cheek.

Natasha POV:

I watched Y/N leave, turning around in my doorway to give me one last subtle smile, before going back to Wanda. I sighed, content with what had happened, but now bored again. I shifted myself off my bed and tested the weight on my leg, which was healing nicely. Feeling confident enough to walk on my own, I went to go find Steve. I hadn't spent much time with him recently as he was busy being patriotic and whatnot, and I missed him. Besides Clint, he was the first person who made me feel accepted on the Avengers. I trusted his judgment and he always gave good advice.

Walking down to his office, I let my mind drift back to Y/N. Her gentle smile, the way her eyes flitted over my face, the way her breathing stopped every time I touched her. The way her giggle morphed into a cackle if she found something really funny. 

I had reached Steve's office and I could see him smirking at me through the open door.

"Someone on your mind Romanoff?" He teased, knowing full well what I was thinking of. Sighing, I sank into his sofa and turned to face him.

"I can't stop thinking about her Steve, she completely takes over my brain."

Steve gave me a small smile, happy for me that I could finally feel this way. "Let it happen Nat, what's the worse that can happen."

"Uh, many many things! She doesn't like me back, which then makes things awkward, which I have already been doing myself. God I'm so stupid, but I can't control myself around her. I get so jealous when she's with Wanda, and she's literally grieving over her dead brother. And when she comes back to me, I'm angry at her for ever being away from me!"

I heard a small sigh escape from Steve as I looked back up at him.

Y/N POV:

Wanda had asked me to get her a smoothie from the fridge, and I was more than happy to oblige. She had only been eating the minimal amount for her survival, and it was only if Vision or myself forced her to. But if she was asking for it, that must mean at some level she was improving. I ran down to the kitchen, nodding at Clint and Sam who were sat around the table, and grabbed the fruit smoothie.

"How is she?" Sam asked, acknowledging the smoothie in my hand.

I shrugged and let out a chuckle, "I'm not sure I have enough information to give you Sam, she doesn't really say or do much."

"Yeah, I get that. Send her my love, will you?"

"Of course, Sam. I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

Turning to leave, I was stopped by Clint who had moved to the sink.

"How is Nat? I haven't seen her much."

"Yeah, she's getting better, but she's still weak. Baby steps, for both of them."

"Jeez, Y/N, you're doing so much, looking after both of them" Sam commented from behind me. I turned once more to meet him, smiling at his surprise.

"I care about them, and you know, idle hands. Anyways, I should get back to Wanda" I called, walking out of the kitchen. Seeing that the lift was busy, I walked along the hallway to get to the stairs. In doing so, I walked past an open door which I realised to be Steve's office. Natasha was inside sat talking to him in hushed tones, but I managed to catch a few sentences.

"Are you falling in love?"

Natasha sighed but smiled inwardly as she replied, "I have a feeling I am."

Feeling very intrusive, I quickly made my way back up the stairs, thinking about what Natasha had said. I knew that she and Bruce had been spending time together, but I hadn't understood the extent of their relationship.

Natasha POV:

After letting the words slip out, and heard a whistle from Steve. I took the cushion and threw it at him, shouting "Shut up!", but I secretly felt really happy.

"That's the first step Nat, acknowledgement."

"But what next?"

"Stop leading Bruce on. I think he thinks you are way more serious about him than you actually are."

My stomach dropped as I registered Steve's words. He was right, I had led him. I had wanted someone to want me, and Bruce ticked the boxes. He checked up on me, saying I was his first priority and was always nice and amiable. He never argued with me or questioned me, always letting me get my way. But I couldn't stand it. I loved the passion and excitement of the little spats between me and Y/N, and I loved how she made me feel, the gentle way she cared for me. I knew what I had to do. I looked up at Steve, nodding my head, and swallowing.

"I'll end it with Bruce, but I can't make a move with Y/N. I like how it is now, and I don't want to ruin it. I'd rather have it like this than never have her at all."

Steve looked disappointed but ultimately knew that he couldn't change my mind when it was decided.

"We'll just stay friends."