If Things Were Different ~♡Killugon/Gonkillu♡~

-The Pain of Reality-

The school day progressed as it did yesterday— introductions, expectations, exetra. I got to meet my other teachers and most of them seemed nice though it still felt too early to tell.
To my surprise, the day went by a bit more quickly and before I knew it I was walking out to my bike.
On my way there I spotted Kurapika and Leorio walking together.
I called out to them and they weaved though the crowd to get to where I was standing.

"Hey guys! How was your day?" I asked, excited to see them both.

"Today was nice, me and Leorio have the same lunch time so were able to eat together most days." Kurapika responded.

"His cooking is the best!" Leorio exclaimed as he gestured to Kurapika.
I saw his face flush a light pink at the sudden compliment.

"Haha! Sounds like you too are enjoying the year so far."

"Yes I supposes. Oh, also Gon; I have something I'd like to talk to you about. Come to my house once you arrive home." He requested.

"Oh sure! I'll see you then.."
The seriousness of his voice had caught me off guard. I then waved goodbye and started on my ride home.

...

I stopped by to greet Killua and let him know where I was going before heading to Kurapikas place. I didn't want to worry him or anything.
I walked to their house where I was greeted promptly at the door by Kurapika.
We then took a seat in their living room while Leorio prepared some tea.

"Well Gon, I assume you've made a good relationship with Killua and I don't want what I say next to offend you in anyway. However, we need to start planning on the next step..."

So this is about Killua..what does he mean..?
Kurapika must've been able to read my confusion because he then began to go into detail;

"What I mean is that we need to start planning for what comes next for him. What can we do to help him rest...What we can do to fulfill his motive."
Only now did I realize the concern in Kurapikas eyes. I could tell he was trying to present this in the nicest way possible.

"...How much time do we have left with him?" I asked sheepishly.

"Not sure. We still need to figure out his motive and why he's still here. It's hard to do that since we still don't know that much about Killua, but I'm determined to help in any way I can."
He gave me a weak smile.
"We'd have to say goodbye eventually...try your best to understand.."

Something about the word 'goodbye' and all of the information I had just processed made me begin to tear up. The stinging from tears forming didn't even come close to the pain of Kurapikas honest words.
I knew we'd have to say our goodbyes sooner or later, but I thought we had more time.

"....I understand.."
I had mustered up the will to say something, anything at all to break the silence.
I then decided it was time to go home.

"Thank you for telling me Kurapika. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Gon...." He trailed off as I put on my shoes.

"Bye.." I said under my breath.
As the door closed behind me, I felt the repressed tears begin to form once more.
I ran home, tears spilling from the sides of my eyes.

The pain of my fear suddenly becoming a reality was simply too much for me to bare.
I ran all the way home until I reached the front door. I carefully unlocked the doorknob and hurried inside. As I slid off my shoes I felt Killuas presence in front of me.

"Welcome back again! How did things go with Kurapika?"

I looked up at him with my tear stained face. "..Not great..." I said between cracks in my voice. "I think I need to process things for a little bit." I said walking to my room.

"O-okay. Let me know if you need anything..." He said, a concerned look spread across his face.
Just looking at him was enough to make me tear up again.
I quietly closed my door and allowed myself to collapse on my bed. Tears soaked my pillow as I cried, hoping Killua wouldn't hear.
I was upset, but I tried to look at it from different angles;

Helping Killua move on has been the whole objective, I can't pretend like this is news..I just don't think I was ready to hear it...I know it's selfish but—

Only then did I realize how badly I wanted Killua to stay by my side. There were so many things I wanted to experience with him, so many more things I wanted to tell him.
It felt as though the whole world I had created, was now falling apart.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

Soon after, I fell asleep.

HEY YALL!!!
I'm so sorry again for such a late update! My week has been incredibly busy with school work but I was finding some time to write here and there, this resulting in a long chapter today<333
I hope y'all enjoyed it and I'll try to post again this weekend

I love you lots,
Mama madlad❤️❤️