If Things Were Different ~♡Killugon/Gonkillu♡~

-What Now?-

HEY HEY YALL<33
Make sure you get your sad music and tissues ready for this chapter😭😭

My eyes shot awake, eager to get ready for school. They soon closed, realizing it was the weekend. A wave of relief fills my body as I allowed myself to fall back into sleep.
Not long after, I was interrupted by a ice cold hand on my shoulder. I felt my whole body shiver at the sudden contact.

"Good morning Gon, how are you feeling?" I could hear the shakiness of his voice.
I rolled over to face Killua. I almost asked myself why he was so worried, but then memories from yesterday flooded into my mind.

"Oh..well I feel a bit better after sleeping. I think I have a clearer mind to process everything in now." I responded, my voice raspy from crying yesterday.

"That's good to hear, but you should eat something now. I'm sure you're hungry." He said.
I agreed and reluctantly left the comfort of my bed to go make breakfast.

...

Once I finished making scrambled eggs, I decided it would be best to tell him what had happened. I motioned for him to sit down at the table as I sat down with my plate of eggs.
"Yesterday when I went to Kurapika's house, he told me that we need to start—"
I found myself beginning to get choked up, I looked down at my lap to make it easier. "We need to start trying to help you rest..."

Once I finished my thought, silence filled the room. Moments pass as I built up the courage to look at Killua. My eyes traced up the table and finally met with his.
His pale, icy blue eyes shimmered with tears. Soon after, one of them trailed down his cheek and into his lap.

I hated to see him cry.

I tried my best to read his expression before he began to speak;
"...I knew it had to come to an end but..."
His glossy eyes soon began to scrunch up with sadness.
I then felt the wall I had tried desperately to keep up, fall down. I began to cry too as Killua floated over to embrace me.
I cried into his neck as he held me. I felt my whole body shake as I clung to him with every once of strength I had.
I knew it was what's best for him, but I didn't want him to go.
We both gripped each other it hopes it was all a joke. In hopes Kurapika made it all up. In hopes of escaping our reality.

"G-Gon I—" Killua started.
I could feel his heart quicken. But before he could say anything more he let out another cry.
His tears didn't sound sad or upset, they sounded fearful. I then realized this paralyzing grip he had on me, was fear.

I realized that he's not just comforting me, but I am comforting him.

Where will he going after this? What comes next...? He must be terrified...

I decided that I'd hold him until he let go, not me. I couldn't even begin to understand the emotions he must've been feeling.
I rubbed his back in efforts of soothing him until he eventually calmed down.

"It's going to be okay..." I said to him.

"Gon, you don't understand...I-"
I once again felt his heart beat speed up.
"I'm..." He started. "....No...never mind..."

I could hear the pain in his voice. I wanted him to say what he needed to, but I didn't want to pressure him.

"It's okay, you don't need to say what's on your mind now. It can wait, right?" I said trying to brighten the mood a little.

"But that's just the problem.." He muttered quietly.
He then allowed himself to let go and take the seat next to me. He stared up at the ceiling in silence.
"....So, what are we going to do?" He asked.

I wished I could give him a better answer, but all I could manage to say was "I don't know".