If Things Were Different ~♡Killugon/Gonkillu♡~

-Life Without You-

Back to Gons pov;

Today was the last day of school. It was also my last day at the house me and Killua once shared.
When I got home, I began to pack up my things. Continuing to live here just didn't feel right without him. All the memories were too painful. I didn't have many things, but it still took me the whole day to get everything.
Aunt Mito would be here in the morning to come at get me.

...

"Ready to go, Gon!?" Aunt Mito called out.

"Yeah, I'm just doing a quick look around to see if I forgot anything!" I yelled back.
I didn't go on the other floors all that often, but I still looked just in case.
I checked in every room until I reached Killua's. I was reluctant to look inside, but after rationalizing, I decided to open the door.
Inside we're all of Killua's precious things. The room slightly smelt of vanilla and rain. I could only imagine this is what he smelt like when he was still alive.

I had only been in there for a few seconds, and I had already began to tear up.

I walked around his room, tracing my fingers against the cold walls. I then noticed a small piece of paper on his aged desk. It had become slightly unfolded over time, so I flipped it over to see in his handwriting, "To Gon".
I had completely forgotten about the promise I made to Killua.
I then began to carefully unfold the paper. His neatly printed cursive handwriting filled the page as I began to read;

Dear Gon,

It's funny, I've never been all that lucky. I never thought I'd be either, but that thought left me the moment you became my friend. You never shamed me for being so inadequate and for not knowing how to have a friend. If anything, you embraced my flaws. I wish this feeling could last another 50 years. You know, I always thought living in purgatory was a curse until you moved in. Maybe it still is a curse, since I still have to leave you. I never thought I could meet and fall in love with someone as wonderful as you, Gon. I wish I could have told you all this before I had to leave, but there's never enough time. And I wish I could stay, but I could never do that to you. I cant keep you in this house. I can't make you live out the rest of you life here just like I had to all this time. You have a full and wonderful life ahead of you, Gon. I wish I could be there to watch you grow up. God, this curse will never end. If only I had just a few more days with you. Enough time to tell you all of this. I hope you can forgive me. But never blame yourself. These past months have been the most fun and joyful of my entire life. Afterlife too. I cant say it enough Gon, you saved me. For the first time in forever, I felt warm. When growing up in the household I had to, it's easy to let childhood slip away. Before I knew it, I went from playing with Alluka to just trying to survive. But you, you made me feel like a little kid again. I had never known the joy I felt with you before. So thanks for making my last months in this world my best. I love you for that. I love you so dearly. God, I love you I love you I love you. I'm gonna miss you so much. Just know I'll be watching over you from wherever I end up.
I've never been lucky, but I sure was lucky to have met you.
I love you Gon.

See you around,
Killua

By the time I had finished reading, my knees had collapsed from beneath me and my tears had scattered about the page. I put the note down and sobbed into my hands. It almost felt as though my heart were ripped from my chest.
The pain was immeasurable.

"God damnit!" I couldn't help but shout between sobs. Frustrating from his note and my own feelings, I cried out. Just like a child, I cried until my eyes stung.
Every bone in my body ached for him.

Only then did it truly sink in how deeply I had fallen and stayed in love with Killua.

....

"Alright, I think I got everything." I said while placing a small box of Killua's things in the trunk.

"Hey Kiddo, are you doing okay? It looks like you've been crying..." Aunt Mito said, acknowledging my red and puffy face.

"Yeah..I'll be okay." I said getting into the car. Aunt Mito soon joined me as we both put on our seatbelts.
She started the car as we slowly drove away from the house. I stared out the window when something in the side mirror caught my eye. I rolled down the window and stuck my head out to see what it was.

From the distance, I saw the door swing open. From within the house, I saw Killua run out. His skin was still rather pale but had hints of pink. His hair and eyes danced with color as he jumped up and down, sending me off.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Just when I thought I couldn't cry anymore, tears dripped from my eyes and flew away in the wind. Without even thinking, I began to scream.
"KILLUA!!! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! I MISSED YOU!!!" My throat hurt instantly from screaming as loud as I possibly could.
I saw him pause for a moment, possibly embarrassed by what I had screamed for the whole world to hear. But he soon flashed me one last smile and made a heart with his hands. Just when I thought he was unfazed by our goodbye, I saw his face scrunch up in pain. He began to cry, I could've sworn I could hear him from the car.
For the first time, he looked human.

As the car got further and further away, he pressed himself to the railing and frantically waved goodbye.
I had to stop myself from jumping out of the car and running to him, part of me knew he wouldn't be there if I had gone back.
As Aunt Mito turned the corner, I caught my last glimpses of the one I loved. For this was goodbye.

1096 word count!!
ANYWAY YALL IM SOBBING SO HARD RIGHT NOW IM SO SORRY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
The story is now over! I had so much fun writing this and developing the plot. It was so interesting and just such a unique project. I truly had a blast writing this.
I really hope y'all enjoyed and and look forward to the next story.

I love y'all so so very much and I'll see you in the next one,
Mama madlad❤️❤️❤️