hi

Im just so angry

I don't know what to do. I don't wanna end my life. I do. I want this to be over but at the same time I know I'll miss this. I know I'll miss hanging out with my two friends and laughing with them. I'll miss those moments with my family. But then they all stress me so much. But I'm trying to promise myself I'll get myself through this. I don't want to leave my sisters, my mom, my dad, my brothers, and my kai so depressed with my death. Especially kai, he does so much for me, nobody has ever comforted me the way he does, he's the only one who truly cares and gives me true advice when I rant to him. Everyone else just says same or oop, and some ignore me. But he truly understands. And I'm so fucking tired of my two other guy friends sexualizing me sm like- I'm trying to be a boy too. They use she/her pronouns with me and call me a girl, I can't joke the same way they do without being sexualized or be called weird. And like I'm so tired of them saying we are gonna fuck or nasty shit like that. Like dude no, we're like pretty young. And I'm so tired of one of them making jokes like that bc I know he likes me but I don't like him back and like he's the type that get so offended if u reject them. But I feel so bad bc I have feelings for his bestfriend. And I keep on having to pretend like I don't like him. Everything hurts. I miss my old bestfriend so much. I miss my old life. I miss my memories. Everyone and everything sucks.

- K . G 9/16 2021