hi

okayy

well im certainly happier im maturing more im getting to a point in my life where im kind of getting over my insecurities i mean im still struggling with my weight but i mean its not as bad but its jus body dysmorphia but its good to know theres ppl who do love me out there like Alex i mean at first i had my worries and all that i kinda still do but idk my heart is jus opening up again and i want to be his lover girl, i dont want to have anymore back up i just want him ive played this little "player" era for a couple months now im ready to wrap up this 13 life style, i certainly did have my 13 life style i mean, drugs, sexual relations, boys, depression, self harm, disrespectfulness, failing school, piercings, alcohol, yea yea yea it was fun i mean i still have 3 more months until its time to completely wrap it up, im getting tired already but a lil more fun and then to rest that part of me goes cuz honestly as fun as it was it was so terrible and desperate, and so sad but,
i want to become ME again, the writer, the reader, the quiet one, the secretly loud one, the good behavior, the listener, the observer, Im so ready to go back, to just focus on I, myself.
Im just feeling slightly happier but life would be better if i were spending my summer in my hometown i mean my whole life is over there, all 13 ludicrous years. but ik ill get to visit, whether my parents like it or not.
but yeaa jus a quick life update!!
immm readyyy to get back into writing i just need to find my spark again.

Oh and also Alex did not leave me on delivered for many hrs i did by accident the notification never popped up and i felt rlly bad but its ok bc he let me know im all his 🥰 but ive never been happier with a guy!! so that's exciting but byeee

July 17 2023